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Saturday, June 6, 2009

Me as a Mom

Who is this person in the photo playing with my daughter? This is me as a mother. It is so different from the person I was before becoming a mom. But that's OK. I like the person I have become. So many people have asked me, "Do you miss being childless? Do you miss the person you used to be, and the carefree attitude you used to have?" Honestly? No.

I don't miss being childless. I appear to be in the distinct minority on this point right now. I am being 100% honest in that statement. I love my daughter. I love my life now that she is a part of it. Are my days a little tougher sometimes now? Of course. Are outings a bit more complicated these days? A bit. But not enough so to make me miss my life before my daughter. Addie has by no means been what you would call an "easy" baby. She has been pretty high maintenance, and needs a pretty strict schedule to stay happy. But that is a sacrifice I haven't even thought twice about. She is my everything. My world.

I don't want my old life back. I don't want to go out without my daughter. I have no urge to go out drinking and sleep in late with a hangover in the morning. Those days have past. Those days, honestly, don't even sound very fun anymore. I would much rather spend endless hours playing peek-a-boo, eating tiny little hands, and listening to her laugh than go out for an evening with my old friends and leave Addie with someone else.

My mother actually used this offer as a bribe for us to move home. "If you lived closer, we could take Addison for a weekend so you can have some time to yourselves every few weeks," she said. I told her I had no interest in that, no way would I want to leave her with someone else for a weekend. Not because I'm paranoid, but because I don't want to. All I would do is spend the weekend missing her. I still don't. Months have passed since that offer was laid out on the table, and I still feel no urge to leave my daughter for a weekend. An evening occasionally? Sure!! But no longer.

I signed on to be a parent. That means all the time, not just most of the time. Being a parent is work. But the benefits are so much better than any other job I've ever had, or will ever have again. A friend of mine told me when I was pregnant and worried about how hard having a baby is, "The worst days with my kids, are better than the best days before them," and you know what? I completely agree!





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2 comments:

  1. Nicely put. I feel the same way but have been having a hard time expressing it.

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  2. (Just came across your blog) This post sounds like I wrote it. I feel exactly the same way about my daughter Avery (9 months old). Being a mommy is the best! Addie is adorable!

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