We all know that disciplining children is a touchy subject among parents. Everyone thinks that their way is the best way. We've all read books, blogs, and websites from different "experts" on the topic of parenthood and young children.
Today, I had the pleasure of stumbling across two different blogs (here, and here) discussing different sides on this subject. The differing views between the two sparked something in me that I just needed to share.
They are both fairly short posts, and both very worth the read. They bring up some great topics.
Upon my initial reading of the post "Are You Damaging Your Kid's Self-Esteem?", I was appalled. What right does she have to tell me I'm pimping out my child when I ask for a hug or a kiss? I feel like my daughter is a very affectionate child, and that I've helped her become that way. This point is just hard to swallow. I grew up giving my relatives hugs and kisses (on the mouth, too!) and I in no way feel that this has caused emotional damage. I did not grow up to believe that the only way I can earn affection is by handing out kisses, or worse. At what point would I be considered "pimping" my child? Is it when I ask her to show Nanna how she has learned all the words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," including all of the signs? Or is it only considered pimping if I push the issue after she says "no"?
The author then goes on to discuss our "know it all" attitude as parents. To an extent, I do agree with what she has written here. She gives the example of telling your child to put a sweater on when it's cold. "Let your kid get cold. Let him know where a sweater is just in case," is her advice. Why should I insist that my daughter wear a sweater when she is telling me she isn't cold? I have found I am much more successful when I just suggest she wear a sweater. If she refuses, then she can go outside and see how cold she is and make the decision herself. To me, this proves two points.
1) I believe she is an individual capable of making her own decisions-to an extent. She is only 2 years old. and
2) Maybe sometimes mamma knows best. Next time I suggest a sweater, she may believe me when I say it's cold, and grab her sweater.
Where do I draw that line, though? If my potty trained 2 year old says she doesn't need to go potty before nap, do I just let her go straight to bed knowing she'll be up in 5 minutes asking to pee? Or do I insist she at least try before nap time so she can go to sleep easier.
What about at bed time when she tells me she's not tired after spending the last 30 minutes rubbing her eyes and yawning? Do I really just let her stay up because she insists?
Can I tell her to say "please" and "thank you," or is that asking her to perform on command again?
I fear that if we take this school of thought too far-the school of thought that telling your child to do something ruins their self esteem and ability to listen to their bodily cues- that we may end up with an even worse situation than the one we are already in. How many day time talk shows do we have to see with the title "I'm scared of my 3 year old," to learn that it's okay to offer guidance and discipline to your young child? The point is, everything in moderation. It's a good rule to learn in life. I personally have found the best approach to be the power of suggestion, versus insisting she do it my way.
I would love some other opinions on this subject. Do you find today's parents to be too pushy with their children?
Showing posts with label Parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenthood. Show all posts
Monday, July 4, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
A Letter to my Future Teen
I've recently re-discovered Mama Kat's blog and her weekly writing prompts. This week, I decided to join in, and chose to write a letter to my future teen.
Dear Daughter,
As I write this letter, you are 2 (going on 13). You're just discovering your independence and the fact that you do have opinions. They call this age the "terrible twos", and I can certainly see why everyone fears toddlers. However, I wouldn't call them terrible. You're strong willed, emotional, and very opinionated, but all of these things are what makes you you. Parenting "experts" and all of the well-meaning advice from friends has nothing on you, but I enjoy the challenge! We're certainly never bored in this house.
You've been my biggest lesson in humility. After all, I never did enjoy asking for help, and I have learned that sometimes I need it. After all, I don't know how I would have made it through your colicky phase if I hadn't had your father to take turns with during that time.
I know that as you get older, you and I will butt heads a lot. We'll have differing opinions on what is best for you, and if you'll really marry that boyfriend of yours after graduation. It's just a matter of fact given that we are both so similar. As much as we may fight, though, I want you to know that even my worst days as a parent have far surpassed even my very best days before you came into my life.
I hope this letter finds us with a good relationship and a great appreciation for each other.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, January 24, 2011
Bachelors Degree in Thriftiness
Like everyone else, my family has been hit pretty hard with the economy the last few years. Regardless, we made it work. We scrimped and saved and we've gone with only one car for the last three years now.
See, the economy took a dive right before Willie got out of the air force and we moved across country. Despite our high hopes, Willie was unable to get a job in even a similar field of work since we've moved here. I won't give you the exact figures, of course, but let's just say we've grown used to living on about a third of what we should be, with an extra mouth to feed even!
It's been hard, to say the least. It's been a lot of sacrifices and prioritizing. I mentioned the other day that it's almost my turn to go back to school. I don't know why, since I've certainly had the longest course ever in living a thrifty life. I should be getting my bachelors degree in thriftiness any day now.
Our biggest problem area, like most families, is groceries. I've had to learn to stick to a list. I mean, wow! I never realized how many pointless things we bought before, but even now if I don't make a list, I watch our total quickly exceed what it should. My trick is to plan 8-9 dinners for 2 weeks. I know that sounds wrong, but when you shop using whole ingredients rather than boxes, it lasts so much longer! For example, if I want to make chicken and broccoli Alfredo, I would buy frozen chicken breasts (or a whole chicken), a couple of heads of broccoli, a box of pasta, Parmesan cheese, butter, and heavy cream. I'm certainly not going to use a whole chicken or an entire package of butter. I most likely won't use all of the Parmesan or pasta either since my family eats maybe half a box of pasta. See? Now I have all of these extra ingredients for another meal!
As of this week, I've even begun using coupons. In fact, Saturday I sent Willie out on our very first coupon run. I need to re-install the printer program on my computer since I had to wipe it clean recently, but I found cellfire.com thanks to a friend. This site lets you register your store rewards cards for the grocery stores you frequent, and you load coupons right onto your rewards card. It's awesome! You just let them scan your card during check out like always and the coupons are automatically deducted from your total. Isn't that amazing?! I never thought I would be the type to use coupons, but after talking to so many people that get things practically for free, I decided I must try it! This week's grocery shopping trip will most definitely include as many coupons as I can get my hands on. It's time for me to take that step and save even more money.
Anyway, hopefully by including coupons into my weekly shopping, I can save even more money, therefore putting more money in our pockets. In a way, it's almost like getting a pay raise! Until there is an actual pay raise in our future, we'll just have to stick with our thriftiness. Maybe this is supposed to be a life lesson. It's better that I learn this now, when we don't have money so that I can continue to use it one day when we are both working and bringing in a good paycheck, right?
See, the economy took a dive right before Willie got out of the air force and we moved across country. Despite our high hopes, Willie was unable to get a job in even a similar field of work since we've moved here. I won't give you the exact figures, of course, but let's just say we've grown used to living on about a third of what we should be, with an extra mouth to feed even!
It's been hard, to say the least. It's been a lot of sacrifices and prioritizing. I mentioned the other day that it's almost my turn to go back to school. I don't know why, since I've certainly had the longest course ever in living a thrifty life. I should be getting my bachelors degree in thriftiness any day now.
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| source |
As of this week, I've even begun using coupons. In fact, Saturday I sent Willie out on our very first coupon run. I need to re-install the printer program on my computer since I had to wipe it clean recently, but I found cellfire.com thanks to a friend. This site lets you register your store rewards cards for the grocery stores you frequent, and you load coupons right onto your rewards card. It's awesome! You just let them scan your card during check out like always and the coupons are automatically deducted from your total. Isn't that amazing?! I never thought I would be the type to use coupons, but after talking to so many people that get things practically for free, I decided I must try it! This week's grocery shopping trip will most definitely include as many coupons as I can get my hands on. It's time for me to take that step and save even more money.
Anyway, hopefully by including coupons into my weekly shopping, I can save even more money, therefore putting more money in our pockets. In a way, it's almost like getting a pay raise! Until there is an actual pay raise in our future, we'll just have to stick with our thriftiness. Maybe this is supposed to be a life lesson. It's better that I learn this now, when we don't have money so that I can continue to use it one day when we are both working and bringing in a good paycheck, right?
Friday, December 24, 2010
Holiday Traditions
He's making a list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Santa Claus is coming to town!
I can hear the bells on Santa's sleigh already! He'll be here before we know it! For the first year, Addie will really understand what's going on in the morning. I must say, Christmas as a parent is almost more fun than Christmas as a kid. We've had Addie's gifts from Santa tucked away for weeks just itching to hand them out early, but we're resisted!
As a kid growing up, Santa always brought us the biggest, coolest gift of all of them. It would be set up in front of the tree just waiting to be played with the minute we walked into the living room on Christmas morning. I really love how my parents did this, but apparently it's not the most common way to experience Santa. Apparently for most kids, he wraps his presents, and apparently brings them a lot more than he ever brought me! See, Santa only brought us one gift on Christmas morning. It was always our "big gift" of the year. For example, our trampoline was from Santa. Our bikes growing up were from Santa. Everything else was from our parents, wrapped under the tree for weeks.
I plan to continue this tradition with Addie. There was just something more magical to me about getting the toys directly from the workshop. Santa even had it completely put together for me so I wouldn't have to wait to play with it. He is so thoughtful.
Tonight, we'll be putting together a new kitchen for Addie, complete with food, dishes, cook-ware, and even an apron (made by me!). I can't wait to see the look on her face when she comes into the living room and sees it. I wonder if we'll even get her to open everything else!
So, does Santa visit your kids? How does he display the gifts? Wrapped in Santa wrapping paper? Or set up and ready for action?
I can hear the bells on Santa's sleigh already! He'll be here before we know it! For the first year, Addie will really understand what's going on in the morning. I must say, Christmas as a parent is almost more fun than Christmas as a kid. We've had Addie's gifts from Santa tucked away for weeks just itching to hand them out early, but we're resisted!As a kid growing up, Santa always brought us the biggest, coolest gift of all of them. It would be set up in front of the tree just waiting to be played with the minute we walked into the living room on Christmas morning. I really love how my parents did this, but apparently it's not the most common way to experience Santa. Apparently for most kids, he wraps his presents, and apparently brings them a lot more than he ever brought me! See, Santa only brought us one gift on Christmas morning. It was always our "big gift" of the year. For example, our trampoline was from Santa. Our bikes growing up were from Santa. Everything else was from our parents, wrapped under the tree for weeks.
I plan to continue this tradition with Addie. There was just something more magical to me about getting the toys directly from the workshop. Santa even had it completely put together for me so I wouldn't have to wait to play with it. He is so thoughtful.
Tonight, we'll be putting together a new kitchen for Addie, complete with food, dishes, cook-ware, and even an apron (made by me!). I can't wait to see the look on her face when she comes into the living room and sees it. I wonder if we'll even get her to open everything else!
So, does Santa visit your kids? How does he display the gifts? Wrapped in Santa wrapping paper? Or set up and ready for action?
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Potty Training Success! (Parents Only!)
Warning: If you're not a parent you probably don't want to read this post, as it talks about topics most adults don't normally discuss.
As you know from my previous post, we have successfully potty trained Addie!
We started about 2 weeks ago, letting her run naked at home. I had a few days where I knew we'd be home with no plans and Willie would be at work (he stresses about naked time) so I decided to go for it. Why not, right? She hates being wet or dirty and always tells me with plenty of advance when she needs to poop. She knows what the potty is used for and even would occasionally ask to sit on it, we just never had any potty action on the toilet which was the only thing discouraging me. I figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a try for a few days and see what happens though. If the first couple of days weren't a success, we could always just put a diaper back on her and try again later.
I had everything in place. I made a sticker chart and had a stack of sticker sheets at the ready. 3 stickers equaled 1 piece of candy or a prize, so I had plenty of rub-on tattoos and some left-over halloween candy at the ready. I had a potty seat in the living room and one in the common bathroom (we'd had so little luck with the toilet so I thought maybe this would help). I had 3 sippy cups filled with water to encourage her to drink more. We were ready to give it a try.
The first part of the day was....very discouraging to say the least. She wouldn't drink the water. Any of it. I think she had maybe half a sippy cup of water all day! At random intervals throughout the day I'd ask her if she was thirsty and she'd take a small sip and put it down. Just not interested in water. She wouldn't sit on the potty, and would just stand there with pee running down her legs saying "uh oh!" when she was standing right next to the potty peeing. It was very frustrating. I would pick her up and toss her on the potty only to have her immediately stop in transit and refuse to finish on the potty. I tried having her help me clean up the wet spot and I tried having her practice running to the potty after she peed (all the while continuing to act like it was no big deal that she just peed all over the floor because hey, accidents happen). Nothing doing. What I needed was to get her to pee-even just a tiny drop-in her potty so she could see how exciting it was. I began to sort of hover that afternoon so I could toss her quickly onto the potty. Early that first evening, we finally had a teensy bit of success! I was able to grab her quickly and sit her on her potty mid-stream and she got 3 tiny drops in the potty. Who cares. I made a huge deal out of it, we made up a dance and she got her very first sticker for her chart! I was still pretty discouraged though, and at that point had decided we'd probably give potty training a break for a few more weeks before we tried again.
Then, as a total last minute decision, I asked Addie before bed if she wanted to try to sit on the potty and maybe earn another sticker. A very excited Addie ran over to the potty and lo and behold...peed! Peed like she hadn't peed all day!! Very encouraging if I do say so myself. Those few minutes changed my mind and I decided to give it another try the next day.
Monday morning, we woke up and just didn't put on a new diaper. I made the mistake of eagerly asking her often if she wanted to use the potty-which she refused every time. Heaven forbid she make me happy, right? She continued for the most part to just pee on the floor and ask for diapers, but she did manage to go on the potty again that night. Again, I was encouraged and decided to give it another day.
That's sort of when things slowed down for a bit. We all ended up with a stomach bug that had us laying on the couch for 2 days. Everyone was miserable and not even caring about potty training. Addie asked for a diaper and I put one on her just because it was easier. She stayed in a diaper the whole day, and most of Wednesday. Needless to say, we were a bit worried about not having a diaper on her if she had a stomach bug! That was not a mess I wanted to worry about cleaning on a queasy stomach.
Thursday, though, we got right back to it, and had a bit more success. I had decided to take the advice of a fellow mom and stop asking her if she needed to go potty. The logic behind it was that she's be more able to focus on her bodily signals if she wasn't being nagged by me all day. We just went about our daily business all day and suddenly, I hear "Pee pee potty, momma!" as she runs to the potty and pees...completely by herself! This happened 2 more times throughout the day. Finally! Some success! On top of that, she got her first piece of candy!
On Saturday, something seemed to have clicked. She woke up that morning telling me she had to potty, and continued to tell me and run to the potty all day long! 7 stickers!!! Only 2 "accidents" all day long! In less than a week, Addie was potty trained to the point that I was only changing a diaper in the morning and at nap time, and not dealing with pee on the floor. 1 week, and that included 2 sick days in a diaper.
Ever since that Saturday, Addie has gone regularly in the potty with fewer and fewer accidents. In fact, we'd gone almost a week without an accident at all until yesterday! We've started putting her in pull ups all day now so that she's not just potty trained while naked, and we can even bring her out in public and she'll still tell us she has to go. In fact, most days this week we've had errands to run, and they've all been successful! The only time she has an issue is when she's really distracted (like yesterday) and has friends over all day. Who has time to pee when you're defending your territory and making sure another toddler doesn't walk off with your Thomas toy?
As you know from my previous post, we have successfully potty trained Addie!
We started about 2 weeks ago, letting her run naked at home. I had a few days where I knew we'd be home with no plans and Willie would be at work (he stresses about naked time) so I decided to go for it. Why not, right? She hates being wet or dirty and always tells me with plenty of advance when she needs to poop. She knows what the potty is used for and even would occasionally ask to sit on it, we just never had any potty action on the toilet which was the only thing discouraging me. I figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a try for a few days and see what happens though. If the first couple of days weren't a success, we could always just put a diaper back on her and try again later.I had everything in place. I made a sticker chart and had a stack of sticker sheets at the ready. 3 stickers equaled 1 piece of candy or a prize, so I had plenty of rub-on tattoos and some left-over halloween candy at the ready. I had a potty seat in the living room and one in the common bathroom (we'd had so little luck with the toilet so I thought maybe this would help). I had 3 sippy cups filled with water to encourage her to drink more. We were ready to give it a try.
The first part of the day was....very discouraging to say the least. She wouldn't drink the water. Any of it. I think she had maybe half a sippy cup of water all day! At random intervals throughout the day I'd ask her if she was thirsty and she'd take a small sip and put it down. Just not interested in water. She wouldn't sit on the potty, and would just stand there with pee running down her legs saying "uh oh!" when she was standing right next to the potty peeing. It was very frustrating. I would pick her up and toss her on the potty only to have her immediately stop in transit and refuse to finish on the potty. I tried having her help me clean up the wet spot and I tried having her practice running to the potty after she peed (all the while continuing to act like it was no big deal that she just peed all over the floor because hey, accidents happen). Nothing doing. What I needed was to get her to pee-even just a tiny drop-in her potty so she could see how exciting it was. I began to sort of hover that afternoon so I could toss her quickly onto the potty. Early that first evening, we finally had a teensy bit of success! I was able to grab her quickly and sit her on her potty mid-stream and she got 3 tiny drops in the potty. Who cares. I made a huge deal out of it, we made up a dance and she got her very first sticker for her chart! I was still pretty discouraged though, and at that point had decided we'd probably give potty training a break for a few more weeks before we tried again.
Then, as a total last minute decision, I asked Addie before bed if she wanted to try to sit on the potty and maybe earn another sticker. A very excited Addie ran over to the potty and lo and behold...peed! Peed like she hadn't peed all day!! Very encouraging if I do say so myself. Those few minutes changed my mind and I decided to give it another try the next day.
Monday morning, we woke up and just didn't put on a new diaper. I made the mistake of eagerly asking her often if she wanted to use the potty-which she refused every time. Heaven forbid she make me happy, right? She continued for the most part to just pee on the floor and ask for diapers, but she did manage to go on the potty again that night. Again, I was encouraged and decided to give it another day.
That's sort of when things slowed down for a bit. We all ended up with a stomach bug that had us laying on the couch for 2 days. Everyone was miserable and not even caring about potty training. Addie asked for a diaper and I put one on her just because it was easier. She stayed in a diaper the whole day, and most of Wednesday. Needless to say, we were a bit worried about not having a diaper on her if she had a stomach bug! That was not a mess I wanted to worry about cleaning on a queasy stomach.
Thursday, though, we got right back to it, and had a bit more success. I had decided to take the advice of a fellow mom and stop asking her if she needed to go potty. The logic behind it was that she's be more able to focus on her bodily signals if she wasn't being nagged by me all day. We just went about our daily business all day and suddenly, I hear "Pee pee potty, momma!" as she runs to the potty and pees...completely by herself! This happened 2 more times throughout the day. Finally! Some success! On top of that, she got her first piece of candy!On Saturday, something seemed to have clicked. She woke up that morning telling me she had to potty, and continued to tell me and run to the potty all day long! 7 stickers!!! Only 2 "accidents" all day long! In less than a week, Addie was potty trained to the point that I was only changing a diaper in the morning and at nap time, and not dealing with pee on the floor. 1 week, and that included 2 sick days in a diaper.
Ever since that Saturday, Addie has gone regularly in the potty with fewer and fewer accidents. In fact, we'd gone almost a week without an accident at all until yesterday! We've started putting her in pull ups all day now so that she's not just potty trained while naked, and we can even bring her out in public and she'll still tell us she has to go. In fact, most days this week we've had errands to run, and they've all been successful! The only time she has an issue is when she's really distracted (like yesterday) and has friends over all day. Who has time to pee when you're defending your territory and making sure another toddler doesn't walk off with your Thomas toy?
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Putting Her to Work..
Well, Addie's second birthday has come and gone. One of her gifts from us was a toddler camera. I'm happy to say it's given her hours of entertainment!
For instance, the other day I had several items to photograph for CUTEure Creations and a very busy, hyper toddler to manage outside as well. We've been having a hard time dealing with her running away from us as soon as we're somewhere she can't run away (parking lots, busy shows, the mall, the road). I'm still trying things out to figure out how to deal with it, so right now I just try to keep her distracted and busy when we're in those situations.
While photographing items, I started having problems with her trying to run to the ditch (next to our very busy road) so I decided to put her to work.
Taking photos, of course! She had a blast, and mimicked everything I did, from kneeling for a good angle, to adjusting the products, to checking the photos on the camera to see how they looked.
It was so cute. I think she's earned herself a job!
For instance, the other day I had several items to photograph for CUTEure Creations and a very busy, hyper toddler to manage outside as well. We've been having a hard time dealing with her running away from us as soon as we're somewhere she can't run away (parking lots, busy shows, the mall, the road). I'm still trying things out to figure out how to deal with it, so right now I just try to keep her distracted and busy when we're in those situations.
While photographing items, I started having problems with her trying to run to the ditch (next to our very busy road) so I decided to put her to work.
Taking photos, of course! She had a blast, and mimicked everything I did, from kneeling for a good angle, to adjusting the products, to checking the photos on the camera to see how they looked.
It was so cute. I think she's earned herself a job!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Now and Then - Camping with Toddlers
So sorry for the huge delay in blogging. I really feel like I'm neglecting my dear readers that actually take the time to read!
This month has been crazy hectic with my shop. The first half of the month was spent in a crocheting frenzy stressing out about show #3 (which was a big bust!), then I went out of town for a little over a week for my show and a trip. That's right. It's the time of year for the "H&C" annual camping trip on the coast! This year, we were camping with toddlers! The majority of the trip was spent talking about the differences from last years trip. Last year, Addie and Loren were just learning to stand up. In fact, I believe they both stood unsupported for the first time during our trip! They were just babies then. We took 10 month pictures of the girls on that trip.
This year, we could barely get them to sit still. Well, for part of the trip Addie had the flu (fairly mild, though. We thought it was a stomach bug until Willie caught it this week!), but while they were both active and feeling well, it was a pretty fun time.
Here's a few photos to show off our activities and what a difference a year makes with kids.
We knew during our trip that the differences were major, but until I looked back through photos from last year, I hadn't realized exactly how much had changed, or how much had stayed the same.
This month has been crazy hectic with my shop. The first half of the month was spent in a crocheting frenzy stressing out about show #3 (which was a big bust!), then I went out of town for a little over a week for my show and a trip. That's right. It's the time of year for the "H&C" annual camping trip on the coast! This year, we were camping with toddlers! The majority of the trip was spent talking about the differences from last years trip. Last year, Addie and Loren were just learning to stand up. In fact, I believe they both stood unsupported for the first time during our trip! They were just babies then. We took 10 month pictures of the girls on that trip.
This year, we could barely get them to sit still. Well, for part of the trip Addie had the flu (fairly mild, though. We thought it was a stomach bug until Willie caught it this week!), but while they were both active and feeling well, it was a pretty fun time.
Here's a few photos to show off our activities and what a difference a year makes with kids.
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| Addie and Loren in the tent last year |
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| Addie and Loren in the RV this year |
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| Addie and Loren playing on the beach last year |
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| Addie and Loren playing on the beach this year |
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| A comparison photo! |
Sunday, September 5, 2010
This Must be Why They Call Me Crazy
Have you ever noticed with your mom friends that there seems to be 3 different groups of moms?
You've got the Group One over "here" that has 2 or 3 kids already, all close in age, along with the moms that plan to have 2-3 kids within the next couple of years. They think this is a great idea. They think "this way, I can get all of the diapers, sleepless nights, childbirth, and pregnancy over with all at once and move onto the fun times." Before I had Addie, I was part of this group. This group that wanted to get this part of child raising over with all at once. It's not that they don't enjoy this part of being a mom, they just want to go through all of the stages as few times as possible.
Group Two, on the other hand, is over there on the other side of the room. They've each got 1 toddler running around. This is the group for only children, right? Wrong. Well, technically they are still the only child, but Mom plans to have more. Eventually. You know, once their first kid gets a little older, a little more independent, maybe even starts kindergarten. Group One looks at these moms like they are crazy. They think "how could you want to start completely over after so long?!" In a way, they are right. Essentially, you are starting over with a new baby once your mind and body are out of practice. There are the pro's to this group, though. Your body has more time to heal, the older child can "help out", you get some one-on-one time with the new baby to bond while your oldest is at school.
Then, you've also got Group Three. This group has been there, done that, and got a post card. They don't need to go back. They're done. They've got their child. He's perfect in every way, how could they possibly try to create perfection twice? Okay, maybe that's not really what they're thinking, but for one reason or another, they only want their one child. Group One and Group Two don't understand it, but hey, who are they to say how to live your life, right?
Before I had Addie, I was part of Group One. I figured it would be easier, they would be closer, and I could be "done" all at once. This seems to be the most popular group. Maybe that's because people are having kids later in life. Maybe it's the high-powered careers more women have. Who knows. All I know is that this is the going thought nowadays.
After having Addie, though, I slowly found myself joining Group Two. I just wasn't ready to do it all over again. As the time came to start talking about "trying" again, Willie and I both found ourselves avoiding it at all costs. Neither of us were ready. We decided to wait a few years. We're young, after all. What's the rush? We'll wait until we're ready and we've got more income.
Once I started sharing this idea with others from Group One, I started getting these looks. Looks that silently say you're crazy. Out loud they would say something like "Oh wow! I don't know if I could do it all over again in a few years. I really want my kids close in age." Sure, I know what you're saying behind those words. You know what though? I'm starting to believe you.
Maybe I am crazy. Maybe all those moms in Group One actually had it right, because let me tell you. Once you hit those terrible two's, you kind of don't want to start over. At least I don't.
Addie isn't even one of the really bad kids, either! She just won't do time outs. Trust me. We've tried it all, from standing behind her to make her not move, to re-starting a timer, and even using her bedroom! It just hasn't been working. I have her say "sorry" and talk to her about her time out when she's done. She won't do it. When she does say sorry, she turns around and hits/pushes/bites immediately afterward so she ends up in another time out. I know right now some of it has to do with her molars, but come on!! How much more of this am I expected to take?! It's just been pretty intense. We've had some discussions lately and we're trying some new things-one of which is less working during the day and more Addie time. So far, it seems to be helping.
Either way, the thought of another toddler right now sort of scares me. If Addie is one of the easy ones, what will I do if my next kid is one of the hard ones?! Maybe this is why they call me crazy. Maybe they knew all along that the reason Group Two is so unpopular is because after the terrible two's, those moms start joining Group Three without batting an eye. I know I sure find them appealing! I mean, hey! Two parents vs. One kid. That sounds like a fair match to me!!
You've got the Group One over "here" that has 2 or 3 kids already, all close in age, along with the moms that plan to have 2-3 kids within the next couple of years. They think this is a great idea. They think "this way, I can get all of the diapers, sleepless nights, childbirth, and pregnancy over with all at once and move onto the fun times." Before I had Addie, I was part of this group. This group that wanted to get this part of child raising over with all at once. It's not that they don't enjoy this part of being a mom, they just want to go through all of the stages as few times as possible.
Group Two, on the other hand, is over there on the other side of the room. They've each got 1 toddler running around. This is the group for only children, right? Wrong. Well, technically they are still the only child, but Mom plans to have more. Eventually. You know, once their first kid gets a little older, a little more independent, maybe even starts kindergarten. Group One looks at these moms like they are crazy. They think "how could you want to start completely over after so long?!" In a way, they are right. Essentially, you are starting over with a new baby once your mind and body are out of practice. There are the pro's to this group, though. Your body has more time to heal, the older child can "help out", you get some one-on-one time with the new baby to bond while your oldest is at school.
Then, you've also got Group Three. This group has been there, done that, and got a post card. They don't need to go back. They're done. They've got their child. He's perfect in every way, how could they possibly try to create perfection twice? Okay, maybe that's not really what they're thinking, but for one reason or another, they only want their one child. Group One and Group Two don't understand it, but hey, who are they to say how to live your life, right?
Before I had Addie, I was part of Group One. I figured it would be easier, they would be closer, and I could be "done" all at once. This seems to be the most popular group. Maybe that's because people are having kids later in life. Maybe it's the high-powered careers more women have. Who knows. All I know is that this is the going thought nowadays.
After having Addie, though, I slowly found myself joining Group Two. I just wasn't ready to do it all over again. As the time came to start talking about "trying" again, Willie and I both found ourselves avoiding it at all costs. Neither of us were ready. We decided to wait a few years. We're young, after all. What's the rush? We'll wait until we're ready and we've got more income.
Once I started sharing this idea with others from Group One, I started getting these looks. Looks that silently say you're crazy. Out loud they would say something like "Oh wow! I don't know if I could do it all over again in a few years. I really want my kids close in age." Sure, I know what you're saying behind those words. You know what though? I'm starting to believe you.
Maybe I am crazy. Maybe all those moms in Group One actually had it right, because let me tell you. Once you hit those terrible two's, you kind of don't want to start over. At least I don't.
Addie isn't even one of the really bad kids, either! She just won't do time outs. Trust me. We've tried it all, from standing behind her to make her not move, to re-starting a timer, and even using her bedroom! It just hasn't been working. I have her say "sorry" and talk to her about her time out when she's done. She won't do it. When she does say sorry, she turns around and hits/pushes/bites immediately afterward so she ends up in another time out. I know right now some of it has to do with her molars, but come on!! How much more of this am I expected to take?! It's just been pretty intense. We've had some discussions lately and we're trying some new things-one of which is less working during the day and more Addie time. So far, it seems to be helping.
Either way, the thought of another toddler right now sort of scares me. If Addie is one of the easy ones, what will I do if my next kid is one of the hard ones?! Maybe this is why they call me crazy. Maybe they knew all along that the reason Group Two is so unpopular is because after the terrible two's, those moms start joining Group Three without batting an eye. I know I sure find them appealing! I mean, hey! Two parents vs. One kid. That sounds like a fair match to me!!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Discipline for the Three of Us
If you read my blog semi-regularly, you've probably deduced that I do not just show the perfect side of my life. I feel like this is the place I want moms to be able to come and see that they are not alone in their parenting struggles. So, here I am, about to share my newest and most frustrating parenting struggle.
Addie won't take a time out to save her life. I tried everything to get her to realize that this is not play time. She just continues hitting/biting/screaming/throwing as soon as she gets out, because apparently my reaction is funny. I've tried different reactions: calm and collected, angry and yelling, sad and hurt.
We've been battling the time out issue for a few months now, right around the time that it became necessary to teach her right and wrong. All of my other mommy friends seem to have flown through this transition easily, giving me the advice of "If she runs out of time out, just put her back and make her stay there until her time is up." and "All kids run out of time out at first, you have to teach her that that is not okay, even if it means you have to stand behind her the first few times and make sure she doesn't move." The thing is, even after months of time outs, Addie still runs right out. Nothing I have done will make her stay in time out. Eventually, we came up with the rule that after she ran out of time out 3 times, we put her in her room with the door closed until her time out was done. This worked really well for awhile, but it may have hurt us in the long run. Now, Addie can reach on top of her shelves and dresser, and can open the door and come out. That means even if I put a spinny-thing on her door knob or stand on the other side holding the door closed, she can still get into things to entertain herself in her room.
Tonight though, after a friend seeing just how out of hand our time out situation is, I had to come up with a new plan. I mean, she recommended that I watch Nanny 911. Things can't be so out of control that I need Nanny 911. They just can't. I can't be at that point, because that means I'm one of those parents that doesn't have control of her child. I can't be that mom.
Once Addie went to bed, I opened up the trusty Google.com website and typed in "toddler time outs". A whole slew of websites came up, so I decided to go with the site I trusted in the newborn stage. I needed something that wasn't a parenting forum, I just wanted advice this time straight from the experts. Advice from other parents hasn't worked so far in this situation, so why turn to virtual moms, right? (no offense).
I found this article called "Time-Outs: How to Make Them Work". It looked perfect, and you know what? It may be perfect. The second paragraph almost made me cry tears of relief that I wasn't alone.
This is it! This is exactly what happens in our house! So it is normal!
According to the article, this scene means that your child is not developmentally ready for a traditional time out. Instead, they recommend things called "positive time out," meaning you just remove them from the frustrating situation and have time to calm down together. Things like reading a book or doing a puzzle or listening to calming music. The main goal is to allow both of you a minute or two to calm down and stop focusing on the "bad" activity.
The article reminds you right away that time out is not a punishment, but "an opportunity for your child to learn how to cope with frustration and modify his behavior." It stresses that this is a more positive way to discipline and teach, rather than yelling and spanking which are considered more negative attention.
I honestly don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. It fits so well with how I've parented from the beginning. It will take some patience and practice, but Willie and I have come up with a new game plan.
Based on what we read tonight, we are going to give up on the traditional time outs for now. When Addie gets out of hand, we will try reading a book or going to another room for some quiet time together first. We will both practice not yelling and raising our temper at her over typical toddler behavior, because we don't want to encourage negative attention.
In return, we have also talked and decided that we need to go back to taking a more active role in our parenting. I think during all of our hard times during the first year, we got so excited once Addie could entertain herself that we both backed away and "took a break." I feel awful admitting it, but often at home I just leave Addie to her toys and do my thing, be it shop work or chores around the house. I get frustrated when she wants attention from me, and tell her to go play. I toss out some crayons or crackers and continue what I was doing.
Working from home-especially working on my own business-is very stressful and time consuming, and it's beginning to show. My life feels a little out of control lately in many aspects. It's time to get back to the basics. I'm going to be setting times to work, and times to play. I'm going to come up with activities to do with Addie, and we'll have some structured play time in our day again. After all, what is the point of staying home with my daughter if I don't take the time to enjoy it?
So, I felt like I needed to lay all of this out in the open. This is my new promise to myself, and I feel like laying it all out here on my blog will help hold myself accountable.
Addie won't take a time out to save her life. I tried everything to get her to realize that this is not play time. She just continues hitting/biting/screaming/throwing as soon as she gets out, because apparently my reaction is funny. I've tried different reactions: calm and collected, angry and yelling, sad and hurt.
We've been battling the time out issue for a few months now, right around the time that it became necessary to teach her right and wrong. All of my other mommy friends seem to have flown through this transition easily, giving me the advice of "If she runs out of time out, just put her back and make her stay there until her time is up." and "All kids run out of time out at first, you have to teach her that that is not okay, even if it means you have to stand behind her the first few times and make sure she doesn't move." The thing is, even after months of time outs, Addie still runs right out. Nothing I have done will make her stay in time out. Eventually, we came up with the rule that after she ran out of time out 3 times, we put her in her room with the door closed until her time out was done. This worked really well for awhile, but it may have hurt us in the long run. Now, Addie can reach on top of her shelves and dresser, and can open the door and come out. That means even if I put a spinny-thing on her door knob or stand on the other side holding the door closed, she can still get into things to entertain herself in her room.
 |
| When good girls stay in time out, they get special tattoo stickers as a reward! Can you be a good girl in time out? |
Tonight though, after a friend seeing just how out of hand our time out situation is, I had to come up with a new plan. I mean, she recommended that I watch Nanny 911. Things can't be so out of control that I need Nanny 911. They just can't. I can't be at that point, because that means I'm one of those parents that doesn't have control of her child. I can't be that mom.
Once Addie went to bed, I opened up the trusty Google.com website and typed in "toddler time outs". A whole slew of websites came up, so I decided to go with the site I trusted in the newborn stage. I needed something that wasn't a parenting forum, I just wanted advice this time straight from the experts. Advice from other parents hasn't worked so far in this situation, so why turn to virtual moms, right? (no offense).
I found this article called "Time-Outs: How to Make Them Work". It looked perfect, and you know what? It may be perfect. The second paragraph almost made me cry tears of relief that I wasn't alone.
Because toddlers find it hard to sit still, trying to make your little one stay in a certain place for a prescribed length of time may well disintegrate into a chase scene. Here's what happens: Your child runs away from his time-out spot. You catch him, then struggle to make him stay in one place. You threaten, he laughs, delighted with this new game — or cries, frustrated by the requirement. You grab, he bolts. Meanwhile, because he has a short attention span, your toddler forgets why you wanted him to sit still in the first place. Instead of helping your child regain his self-control, you find yourself in a power struggle.
This is it! This is exactly what happens in our house! So it is normal!
According to the article, this scene means that your child is not developmentally ready for a traditional time out. Instead, they recommend things called "positive time out," meaning you just remove them from the frustrating situation and have time to calm down together. Things like reading a book or doing a puzzle or listening to calming music. The main goal is to allow both of you a minute or two to calm down and stop focusing on the "bad" activity.
The article reminds you right away that time out is not a punishment, but "an opportunity for your child to learn how to cope with frustration and modify his behavior." It stresses that this is a more positive way to discipline and teach, rather than yelling and spanking which are considered more negative attention.
I honestly don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. It fits so well with how I've parented from the beginning. It will take some patience and practice, but Willie and I have come up with a new game plan.
Based on what we read tonight, we are going to give up on the traditional time outs for now. When Addie gets out of hand, we will try reading a book or going to another room for some quiet time together first. We will both practice not yelling and raising our temper at her over typical toddler behavior, because we don't want to encourage negative attention.
In return, we have also talked and decided that we need to go back to taking a more active role in our parenting. I think during all of our hard times during the first year, we got so excited once Addie could entertain herself that we both backed away and "took a break." I feel awful admitting it, but often at home I just leave Addie to her toys and do my thing, be it shop work or chores around the house. I get frustrated when she wants attention from me, and tell her to go play. I toss out some crayons or crackers and continue what I was doing.
Working from home-especially working on my own business-is very stressful and time consuming, and it's beginning to show. My life feels a little out of control lately in many aspects. It's time to get back to the basics. I'm going to be setting times to work, and times to play. I'm going to come up with activities to do with Addie, and we'll have some structured play time in our day again. After all, what is the point of staying home with my daughter if I don't take the time to enjoy it?
So, I felt like I needed to lay all of this out in the open. This is my new promise to myself, and I feel like laying it all out here on my blog will help hold myself accountable.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
How Do I Do it All?
Wow, it's been two weeks since my last post. Well, so much for that goal of writing at least twice a week. That lasted...uhh...a week?
These days, I keep finding myself thinking of that part in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. You know the part where Hermione breaks out the necklace that let's her be in multiple places at once and travel backwards in time? I so need one of those. Maybe then I would write more.
You see, I want to blog. Really and truly. I've blogged in my head so many times the last few weeks and then written on my mental checklist, remember to blog. The only thing is, I forget what I wanted to write by the time I get a chance to really sit down and think.
I get very few "free" hours in my day. More than some, less than others. Unfortunately, during those few "free" hours, I have so many things I want and need to get done that I've had to prioritize way more than I'd like. I mean, really. Addie falls asleep and Willie runs off to work and I feel like my brain is going to explode with the to-do list that pops into it at that very moment:
A lot of people ask me how I do it all. You know, the blog, the pictures, the house, the kid, the cooking, the cleaning, the baking, the business, the play dates, the social life, the entertaining, the hiking trips, the marriage....
Truth is...I don't. I don't even make a dent in it all. Most days it's just priorities and what my mom calls the "flight of the bumblebee" when I realize company is coming over. I take care of the priorities; my daughter, my husband, my business, and living our lives. The rest of it I usually just hope will fall into place on it's own. Usually it does...at least somewhat. Just...don't surprise me with a spontaneous visit. That would just be embarrassing.
These days, I keep finding myself thinking of that part in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. You know the part where Hermione breaks out the necklace that let's her be in multiple places at once and travel backwards in time? I so need one of those. Maybe then I would write more.
You see, I want to blog. Really and truly. I've blogged in my head so many times the last few weeks and then written on my mental checklist, remember to blog. The only thing is, I forget what I wanted to write by the time I get a chance to really sit down and think.
I get very few "free" hours in my day. More than some, less than others. Unfortunately, during those few "free" hours, I have so many things I want and need to get done that I've had to prioritize way more than I'd like. I mean, really. Addie falls asleep and Willie runs off to work and I feel like my brain is going to explode with the to-do list that pops into it at that very moment:
I've got to get as much stock pumped out as humanly possible before August 21st, but oh wait I have all of these new ideas in my head that I want to make, don't forget you really need to blog. Oh but your etsy team blog is being neglected as well, and you still haven't made a team treasury for this month. Don't forget Mom's birthday! Weren't you going to make her some booties? Mt. Fold-Me is starting to rumble...I fear it will explode off the couch any day now, but what's that smell in the kitchen? Man, I guess I need to do the dishes. If I'm going to do the dishes I should really give the kitchen a really thorough cleaning. I mean, then I could go ahead and vacuum too...oh wait...I'd have to clean up all of these toys first. Where is the cat? I hope he didn't get out again. Oh boy speaking of getting out, we've got to get groceries I should probably make a list. It looks nice out today, it would be a great day for Addie to wear that dress that I never made. Screw it. Nap time's over now anyway.
A lot of people ask me how I do it all. You know, the blog, the pictures, the house, the kid, the cooking, the cleaning, the baking, the business, the play dates, the social life, the entertaining, the hiking trips, the marriage....
Truth is...I don't. I don't even make a dent in it all. Most days it's just priorities and what my mom calls the "flight of the bumblebee" when I realize company is coming over. I take care of the priorities; my daughter, my husband, my business, and living our lives. The rest of it I usually just hope will fall into place on it's own. Usually it does...at least somewhat. Just...don't surprise me with a spontaneous visit. That would just be embarrassing.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Personal Struggle
Tonight, I am at a crossroads.
I have no idea what to do. In case you didn't know, we have 2 cats.
There they are. The fat gray one is Pepper, and the small calico is Simone. She's my baby. I've had her in my life longer than Willie and Addison. Heck. I've had her in my life longer than both of them put together! Pepper, well, he's a "rescue" but still a major part of our family. In fact, he's our "family" cat, playing with Addison, giving her love, sneaking into her room (but still acting like a tough guy). Simone, well, she just hides a lot and runs away when Addie comes into a room. She shows up for love usually around now when the house is quiet and peaceful and nobody is awake but me.
I love them. Honestly, though, I'm tired of them. Pepper has bladder issues that have cost us over $1,000 since November. He's now on prescription food for urinary crystals and has developed a nasty habit of peeing on the floor. We were doing really well in the new place for such a long time, but when we went on our trip, he took it back up and now we can't get him to stop.
Simone is just... a bitch. I'm sorry. I love her to death and she's my "baby girl" but she's mean to Addie and ever since Addie was born she has also had a problem with the litter box. I think it's retaliatory. I've done everything I can think to do. Addie has never intentionally been mean to her and has rarely even had a chance to be accidentally mean to her. She can't get a chance to learn how to be nice to Simone.
These issues alone were not enough to make me question keeping my beloved cats.
Addie's allergy test results showed that she was highly allergic to cats. At the time, we hadn't noticed any major symptoms that we could for sure blame on the cats so the allergist told us to just watch her and see because she may grow out of it.
Weeks later, Addie is doing amazingly well. Almost no rash. We cut out peanuts completely and we're limiting eggs and soy, watching her closely after each serving. She's been fine. She even had scrambled eggs, and while her mouth got a little red during breakfast, it didn't cause a rash.
Here's the crappy part. Yesterday afternoon, Addie was hanging out in the house in her diaper (what?! It was 83 degrees in here!) and suddenly broke out in an awful, swollen, itchy rash. It was so sad. She kept saying "Itchy, mamma!" and scratching. No eggs. No peanuts. No food in general other than pita chips which are totally safe for her. Only explanation? Yep. The cats.
What now?! Sure. They are a P.I.T.A. most days lately, but do I really want to give them away? Is it even an option at this point? Now I'm fairly certain they have been the problem all along. I'm not sure how willing I am to continue putting Addie through these rashes knowing what is causing it.
This is such a struggle for me. On the one hand, I will feel like I am abandoning my pets if I give them away (and yeah, right, like Simone will adapt well to that). On the other hand, am I betraying my daughter and affecting her well being by keeping animals around that I know she's allergic to?!
I have no idea what to do. In case you didn't know, we have 2 cats.
I love them. Honestly, though, I'm tired of them. Pepper has bladder issues that have cost us over $1,000 since November. He's now on prescription food for urinary crystals and has developed a nasty habit of peeing on the floor. We were doing really well in the new place for such a long time, but when we went on our trip, he took it back up and now we can't get him to stop.
Simone is just... a bitch. I'm sorry. I love her to death and she's my "baby girl" but she's mean to Addie and ever since Addie was born she has also had a problem with the litter box. I think it's retaliatory. I've done everything I can think to do. Addie has never intentionally been mean to her and has rarely even had a chance to be accidentally mean to her. She can't get a chance to learn how to be nice to Simone.
These issues alone were not enough to make me question keeping my beloved cats.
Addie's allergy test results showed that she was highly allergic to cats. At the time, we hadn't noticed any major symptoms that we could for sure blame on the cats so the allergist told us to just watch her and see because she may grow out of it.
Weeks later, Addie is doing amazingly well. Almost no rash. We cut out peanuts completely and we're limiting eggs and soy, watching her closely after each serving. She's been fine. She even had scrambled eggs, and while her mouth got a little red during breakfast, it didn't cause a rash.
Here's the crappy part. Yesterday afternoon, Addie was hanging out in the house in her diaper (what?! It was 83 degrees in here!) and suddenly broke out in an awful, swollen, itchy rash. It was so sad. She kept saying "Itchy, mamma!" and scratching. No eggs. No peanuts. No food in general other than pita chips which are totally safe for her. Only explanation? Yep. The cats.
What now?! Sure. They are a P.I.T.A. most days lately, but do I really want to give them away? Is it even an option at this point? Now I'm fairly certain they have been the problem all along. I'm not sure how willing I am to continue putting Addie through these rashes knowing what is causing it.
This is such a struggle for me. On the one hand, I will feel like I am abandoning my pets if I give them away (and yeah, right, like Simone will adapt well to that). On the other hand, am I betraying my daughter and affecting her well being by keeping animals around that I know she's allergic to?!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You're Lucky, You Know..
What is with this phrase? I must say, nothing irks me more than being told I'm "so lucky."
You're so lucky you've lost so much weight after the baby....I guess you haven't seen my food journal or my daily weigh ins that I did for months.
You're so lucky you got out of that little hometown of yours and have you're own life...You could do it, too, if you wanted to badly enough.
You're so lucky you're able to stay home with Addie every day....Read my response to that last comment. Same applies.
You know what? I'm not lucky. Willie and I work really, really hard for what we have. We make a lot of sacrifices for me to be able to stay at home with Addie. It's what we wanted and it's what's important to us. It's not something that just fell into our laps. It's not an opportunity that was given to me for no reason. It's what I've wanted forever. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life other than be a mom and be with my kids, so that's what I'm doing. Willie works harder because of it. We do without a lot of things...like a second car, our own home, dinners out, dates, babysitters, and so many little things. Addie practically lives in hand-me-downs. She doesn't have a ton of toys(although she has a great imagination and love for the outdoors).
We're not lucky that we moved across country, either. Again, it's something we wanted, and worked hard for. We sacrificed a lot to be able to do it. We're still sacrificing. Willie is back in school because he couldn't find a job in his field when we moved here.
Lucky is being given a house, like both my sister and cousin have experienced. Lucky is being given cars left and right, or being given money to live on every day. We're not lucky. We're just hard workers.
Many of our decisions were followed by overwhelming fear that almost made us turn back, but we did it. I quit my job and we live off of Willie's income (at least until my business takes off and I can help supplement) and it's hard most days. We weigh each purchase like it were a major purchase. Even better (and scarier, and harder), we do it completely alone. We don't have our families to lean on for support. Grandma isn't coming over to babysit for free so I can get housework done or go grocery shopping in peace. I can't remember our last date night.
Don't get me wrong, all of it is worth it. I love my life. I get stressed just like anyone else, but I still love it. I don't regret a single decision we've made in the last four years- okay, maybe I regret the decision last night to not go buy ice cream. If I were to do it all over again, I'd probably make the same decisions. My point, though, is to please quit telling me I'm "lucky." Luck didn't have anything to do with where we are now. Recognize our hard work for what it is. Hard. Know that we stress out about money and what the future holds just as much as everyone else, but we do it because we've already weighed the pros and cons and know we can get through it.
I'm not lucky. I'm just determined, and very, very stubborn.
You're so lucky you've lost so much weight after the baby....I guess you haven't seen my food journal or my daily weigh ins that I did for months.
You're so lucky you got out of that little hometown of yours and have you're own life...You could do it, too, if you wanted to badly enough.
You're so lucky you're able to stay home with Addie every day....Read my response to that last comment. Same applies.
You know what? I'm not lucky. Willie and I work really, really hard for what we have. We make a lot of sacrifices for me to be able to stay at home with Addie. It's what we wanted and it's what's important to us. It's not something that just fell into our laps. It's not an opportunity that was given to me for no reason. It's what I've wanted forever. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life other than be a mom and be with my kids, so that's what I'm doing. Willie works harder because of it. We do without a lot of things...like a second car, our own home, dinners out, dates, babysitters, and so many little things. Addie practically lives in hand-me-downs. She doesn't have a ton of toys(although she has a great imagination and love for the outdoors).
We're not lucky that we moved across country, either. Again, it's something we wanted, and worked hard for. We sacrificed a lot to be able to do it. We're still sacrificing. Willie is back in school because he couldn't find a job in his field when we moved here.
Lucky is being given a house, like both my sister and cousin have experienced. Lucky is being given cars left and right, or being given money to live on every day. We're not lucky. We're just hard workers.
Many of our decisions were followed by overwhelming fear that almost made us turn back, but we did it. I quit my job and we live off of Willie's income (at least until my business takes off and I can help supplement) and it's hard most days. We weigh each purchase like it were a major purchase. Even better (and scarier, and harder), we do it completely alone. We don't have our families to lean on for support. Grandma isn't coming over to babysit for free so I can get housework done or go grocery shopping in peace. I can't remember our last date night.
Don't get me wrong, all of it is worth it. I love my life. I get stressed just like anyone else, but I still love it. I don't regret a single decision we've made in the last four years- okay, maybe I regret the decision last night to not go buy ice cream. If I were to do it all over again, I'd probably make the same decisions. My point, though, is to please quit telling me I'm "lucky." Luck didn't have anything to do with where we are now. Recognize our hard work for what it is. Hard. Know that we stress out about money and what the future holds just as much as everyone else, but we do it because we've already weighed the pros and cons and know we can get through it.
I'm not lucky. I'm just determined, and very, very stubborn.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Featured Guest Writer!
This past month, I contacted another mommy blogger on Twitter who was looking for guest writers on her blog. I've never done a guest post before and thought it might be fun.
Tales From The Crib is all about stories from the front lines of motherhood. It will include birth stories, sick stories, funny stories, learning experiences, the works. I chose to include my birth story for all to read. You can check out all of the Tales From The Crib posts by clicking the picture above. My story is here.
Tales From The Crib is all about stories from the front lines of motherhood. It will include birth stories, sick stories, funny stories, learning experiences, the works. I chose to include my birth story for all to read. You can check out all of the Tales From The Crib posts by clicking the picture above. My story is here.
When I Said "Traveling", This Isn't What I was Talking About
As many of you know, we recently visited family in Texas for a week. We do this pretty frequently, actually. I think this was our third trip to Texas in two-and-a-half years. We've also flown a couple of times to California in that time as well. That's it.
This luggage was part of our wedding registry. When picking it out, I had just come back from a month-long trip to Europe, in which I spent 2 weeks in Dusseldorf, Germany, and two weeks in Cabo Roig, Spain. During that time, my old luggage went through hell and back. I got it off the baggage carousel in Houston with a bent frame, a gimpy wheel, and writing from top to bottom (from various bus drivers and customs workers). The luggage I brought on that trip was fairly cheap and rather small for a month-long vacation. So, I registered for this set with all of our future travels to far-away countries in mind.
As you can probably guess, that's not really what happened. Instead what happened was we got married, found out Willie was leaving the Air Force, got pregnant, and moved across country flat broke. All within 6 months (give or take).
Now, all of our traveling revolves around college schedules, cheapest flying times, and holidays. We go to two places. Places we've seen a million times before. Places we know like the back our our hand...or at least we used to. The point is, it's nothing new. It's nothing exciting. I always swore we'd travel a lot. I wanted to see everything. Everywhere. What happened to that?
Why am I not drinking Sangria in Spain or touring the Louvre or eating real Chinese food?
I'm nostalgic for that life. I love the life I have, but I miss the life I almost had. I want to take Addie with me there. I want to take Willie, too. Yet again, here we are, left waiting for our lives to start. Waiting for school to be over. Waiting for things to get a little easier. A little more fun.
When I registered for these suitcases with traveling in mind, this isn't exactly what I meant, but it's what I got.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Allery Update #3 - The Allergist
Note: If you are behind in this story, feel free to read the back posts (in this order) here, here, and here.
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I'm a bit late writing this post, but life has been hectic this week. Understandably, I hope.
Thursday was our appointment with the allergist. We had had several phone talks with our pediatrician and the receptionist at the allergists office between getting the results on Monday and arriving at our appointment on Thursday morning. Wednesday night I filled out five pages worth of forms to bring in to the doctor, and read all of their new patient directions-which included not using a strong smelling soap, keeping Addie in short sleeves, giving her a good beakfast, and preparing to spend 2.5-3 hours in the office between skin testing and consultation.
I barely slept Wednesday night stressing out about the testing and the results we may find. To be honest, everything was still very mind-boggling. Peanut allergies, egg white allergies, getting rid of our cats, epi pens...all of it was pretty jumbled in my mind.
At the appointment, we talked for a good 10-15 minutes about symptoms I've noticed, foods that she reacts to (which is hard to say since it seems so totally random), and what we've done so far. Unfortunately (well, fortunately, but not in this instance), Addie was clearer than we had seen her in weeks! I say unfortunately, because the doctor couldn't see any rashes other than the small rough spot on her chin that was still healing.
Luckily, he eliminated three foods right off the bat. According to our initial chat, we do not need to be concerned with peas, potatoes, or rice unless we start noticing symptoms. As far as I can tell, she's always eaten those with no problems (although like I've said, it's hard to tell sometimes when she's breaking out and why because she was always broken out).
He did tell us to cut out all peanut products until she is 3, and then we will re-visit that one and see if anything has changed. Note to all parents, according to him you are supposed to wait until age 3 to introduce it at all. I knew it was an allergen, but I thought they were all okay to introduce at 1 if you had no history of allergies.
After that, he told me he really did not see the need currently to do a skin test. All of her symptoms appear to be skin related, so we can try diagnosing the other allergies using food challenges. He thinks the most important food to test first is egg whites. That means no eggs or products made with eggs. It will be hard, but I hope it gives us a better idea at what we're looking at. To be totally honest though, I'm a bit jaded against the idea of a food challenge now since our last food challenge left me so sure that it was onion, or garlic, or both.
That does, in some ways, make sense though. After closer examination, most of the products we noticed a reaction with also had soy as an ingredient. In fact, most processed foods do. Unfortunately, the allergist doesn't feel that soy is causing the rashes-at least not all of them. Apparently, the levels for soy were so low it's unlikely they are causing any symptoms. That and the fact that we've given Addie edamame (soy beans), and served foods with soy sauce with seemingly no reaction.
I still really feel in my gut that there is something to this soy allergy. Maybe it's not all of it, but it has to be some of it. After the appointment, I gave Addie some fig newtons. Now, keep in mind her skin is clearer than I have almost ever seen it, so even the slightest reaction is visible, and she did have a slight reaction to the fig newtons. I've spoken with a few people now that cannot eat soy as an ingredient in processed foods, but do fine with soy in it's natural state-such as soy beans or soy sauce. It just means anything is possible.
Bottom line, the allergist appointment was someone disappointing, but also a relief. I felt like I was running as fast as I could toward the edge of a cliff all week, but was pulled back at the very last second. I left feeling somewhat deflated. All that preparation-mentally and physically-for a 15 minute chat with a doctor that didn't feel there was an immediate need for action.
I was so looking forward to leaving there with solid answers. I wanted to be able to just stop giving Addie the foods that are making her miserable. I wanted to be done.
Something good did come from the appointment, though. I'm calmer. The doctor sees no need for immediate action. Her allergies are not severe. Due to this sudden calmness, I've been able to channel my subconscious and really figure out how I feel about all of this. I've got an action plan. For now, we're limiting both foods-soy and egg white-and keeping an eye to see what causes reactions. I'm reading all labels and familiarizing myself with the foods we eat a little more so that when we are ready to do the food challenges in a couple of weeks, there will be fewer slip ups than last time. Once we get back from visiting family, I'll deal with the rest. I'll start food challenges. I'll deal with rashes and a wakeful toddler. I'll cry with her if she gets rashy enough to scratch herself bloody again, or gets hives again. For now, though, I'm okay with all of this.
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I'm a bit late writing this post, but life has been hectic this week. Understandably, I hope.
Thursday was our appointment with the allergist. We had had several phone talks with our pediatrician and the receptionist at the allergists office between getting the results on Monday and arriving at our appointment on Thursday morning. Wednesday night I filled out five pages worth of forms to bring in to the doctor, and read all of their new patient directions-which included not using a strong smelling soap, keeping Addie in short sleeves, giving her a good beakfast, and preparing to spend 2.5-3 hours in the office between skin testing and consultation.
I barely slept Wednesday night stressing out about the testing and the results we may find. To be honest, everything was still very mind-boggling. Peanut allergies, egg white allergies, getting rid of our cats, epi pens...all of it was pretty jumbled in my mind.
At the appointment, we talked for a good 10-15 minutes about symptoms I've noticed, foods that she reacts to (which is hard to say since it seems so totally random), and what we've done so far. Unfortunately (well, fortunately, but not in this instance), Addie was clearer than we had seen her in weeks! I say unfortunately, because the doctor couldn't see any rashes other than the small rough spot on her chin that was still healing.
Luckily, he eliminated three foods right off the bat. According to our initial chat, we do not need to be concerned with peas, potatoes, or rice unless we start noticing symptoms. As far as I can tell, she's always eaten those with no problems (although like I've said, it's hard to tell sometimes when she's breaking out and why because she was always broken out).
He did tell us to cut out all peanut products until she is 3, and then we will re-visit that one and see if anything has changed. Note to all parents, according to him you are supposed to wait until age 3 to introduce it at all. I knew it was an allergen, but I thought they were all okay to introduce at 1 if you had no history of allergies.
After that, he told me he really did not see the need currently to do a skin test. All of her symptoms appear to be skin related, so we can try diagnosing the other allergies using food challenges. He thinks the most important food to test first is egg whites. That means no eggs or products made with eggs. It will be hard, but I hope it gives us a better idea at what we're looking at. To be totally honest though, I'm a bit jaded against the idea of a food challenge now since our last food challenge left me so sure that it was onion, or garlic, or both.
That does, in some ways, make sense though. After closer examination, most of the products we noticed a reaction with also had soy as an ingredient. In fact, most processed foods do. Unfortunately, the allergist doesn't feel that soy is causing the rashes-at least not all of them. Apparently, the levels for soy were so low it's unlikely they are causing any symptoms. That and the fact that we've given Addie edamame (soy beans), and served foods with soy sauce with seemingly no reaction.
I still really feel in my gut that there is something to this soy allergy. Maybe it's not all of it, but it has to be some of it. After the appointment, I gave Addie some fig newtons. Now, keep in mind her skin is clearer than I have almost ever seen it, so even the slightest reaction is visible, and she did have a slight reaction to the fig newtons. I've spoken with a few people now that cannot eat soy as an ingredient in processed foods, but do fine with soy in it's natural state-such as soy beans or soy sauce. It just means anything is possible.
Bottom line, the allergist appointment was someone disappointing, but also a relief. I felt like I was running as fast as I could toward the edge of a cliff all week, but was pulled back at the very last second. I left feeling somewhat deflated. All that preparation-mentally and physically-for a 15 minute chat with a doctor that didn't feel there was an immediate need for action.
I was so looking forward to leaving there with solid answers. I wanted to be able to just stop giving Addie the foods that are making her miserable. I wanted to be done.
Something good did come from the appointment, though. I'm calmer. The doctor sees no need for immediate action. Her allergies are not severe. Due to this sudden calmness, I've been able to channel my subconscious and really figure out how I feel about all of this. I've got an action plan. For now, we're limiting both foods-soy and egg white-and keeping an eye to see what causes reactions. I'm reading all labels and familiarizing myself with the foods we eat a little more so that when we are ready to do the food challenges in a couple of weeks, there will be fewer slip ups than last time. Once we get back from visiting family, I'll deal with the rest. I'll start food challenges. I'll deal with rashes and a wakeful toddler. I'll cry with her if she gets rashy enough to scratch herself bloody again, or gets hives again. For now, though, I'm okay with all of this.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Allergy Update #2 - The Test, and the Results
Well, today was the day we've been waiting for. If you haven't been following my tweets, then here is a little back story for you:
We finally found Addie a new pediatrician-inadvertently we chose an allergy specialist-and got an appointment for this last Thursday. While I was there I brought up our issues with food and my thoughts on allergies. I told her all about the rashes, showed her the one around her mouth that is clearing up, and talked about my frustrations with our old pediatrician. She told me we could get Addie's blood drawn in the lab connected with her office before we left! I was so relieved and so scared at the same time.
The blood draw was traumatizing for all of us even though the phlebotomist was great with Addie. I was told we would have the results by Monday (today). I waited all weekend with bated breath until this morning...which is where this blog picks up.
Our new pediatrician called us this morning (yes! The pediatrician herself called me! Not a nurse or receptionist!) She said she was actually still waiting on the results for the onion and garlic test since those had to be added on separately, but that she wanted to call and update me because Addie apparently has quite a list of allergies already back.
According to the pediatrician, the allergists appointment should narrow this list down some. She said a lot of the time when kids come back with long lists like this, it can mean a kind of "false positive". I guess a lot of times your body can show the antibodies for these things but when you are exposed, you don't actually show symptoms.
Nevertheless, an epi-pen was prescribed to us and we were referred to the allergists office. I called and made an appointment expecting to not have any answers in time for our upcoming trip, but they were able to get us in this week! Even better, although we'll be in the office for 2.5 hours, we'll walk out with test results!
I'll update again when I have more answers. Right now we're still all processing this information. It's a lot to take in considering we didn't have any known food allergies in either of our families.
We finally found Addie a new pediatrician-inadvertently we chose an allergy specialist-and got an appointment for this last Thursday. While I was there I brought up our issues with food and my thoughts on allergies. I told her all about the rashes, showed her the one around her mouth that is clearing up, and talked about my frustrations with our old pediatrician. She told me we could get Addie's blood drawn in the lab connected with her office before we left! I was so relieved and so scared at the same time.
The blood draw was traumatizing for all of us even though the phlebotomist was great with Addie. I was told we would have the results by Monday (today). I waited all weekend with bated breath until this morning...which is where this blog picks up.
Our new pediatrician called us this morning (yes! The pediatrician herself called me! Not a nurse or receptionist!) She said she was actually still waiting on the results for the onion and garlic test since those had to be added on separately, but that she wanted to call and update me because Addie apparently has quite a list of allergies already back.
So, here it is, she is highly allergic to the following:
Peanut (what?! seriously?!)
Peas
Potatoes
Rice
Cats (Our cat is a special needs cat-think we can get someone to take him in?!)
She is Moderately allergic to:
Egg Whites
Dogs
The following came back in the Low category:
Cod Fish
Soy
White Beans
According to the pediatrician, the allergists appointment should narrow this list down some. She said a lot of the time when kids come back with long lists like this, it can mean a kind of "false positive". I guess a lot of times your body can show the antibodies for these things but when you are exposed, you don't actually show symptoms.
Nevertheless, an epi-pen was prescribed to us and we were referred to the allergists office. I called and made an appointment expecting to not have any answers in time for our upcoming trip, but they were able to get us in this week! Even better, although we'll be in the office for 2.5 hours, we'll walk out with test results!
I'll update again when I have more answers. Right now we're still all processing this information. It's a lot to take in considering we didn't have any known food allergies in either of our families.
Friday, June 4, 2010
What Do You Do With a Cling-On Toddler?
*Disclaimer: this is a totally random post. It probably does not make much sense, but my brain is mush today. Don't read it if you don't want to hear me vent about my week!*
I'd really love to know! What do you do when your toddler won't let you walk two steps away? When she won't eat, or sleep, or play, or watch TV?
This past week has been insane over here! Must be another regression of sorts.
Maybe it's her teeth. I don't know. I honestly can't even think clearly anymore! When she's awake, 100% of my attention is devoted to her. Carrying her. Reading to her. Cuddling with her. Talking to her. Feeding her. Yes. Spoon feeding my 18 month old daughter.
She's not sick. We just had her 18-month check up yesterday morning and she's totally fine. She is teething. She also just went through a growth spurt a week and a half ago.
So, what do you do when your toddler turns into a cling-on? First off, you get really good at walking around stores with an extra 25 pounds trying to escape from your body. Second, you find anything and everything to entertain them. Today Addie got to try her hand at photography.
Not bad, right?
She's also been helping me cook. A lot. Spending time with her BFF (Best Friend Forever) has been a lifesaver, but now they are out of town for two whole weeks!
We're going to try some new crafts this afternoon. I'm thinking home-made play-doh! Anything to distract her from whatever it is that's bothering her.
We're also working on a new routine to hopefully make our days a bit easier. So far it has definitely helped with her new strategy of fighting bed time (screaming and hollering to let me know she's angry).
The thing is, I know there's nothing wrong with her. Absolutely nothing. She might be teething. I know a lot of them have been moving under the surface recently, and I thought she cut at least one last week but it still hasn't come through! She won't let me look in her mouth though, so I don't know what's going on in there.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. If you read this, you're a saint!
I'd really love to know! What do you do when your toddler won't let you walk two steps away? When she won't eat, or sleep, or play, or watch TV?
This past week has been insane over here! Must be another regression of sorts.
Maybe it's her teeth. I don't know. I honestly can't even think clearly anymore! When she's awake, 100% of my attention is devoted to her. Carrying her. Reading to her. Cuddling with her. Talking to her. Feeding her. Yes. Spoon feeding my 18 month old daughter.
She's not sick. We just had her 18-month check up yesterday morning and she's totally fine. She is teething. She also just went through a growth spurt a week and a half ago.
So, what do you do when your toddler turns into a cling-on? First off, you get really good at walking around stores with an extra 25 pounds trying to escape from your body. Second, you find anything and everything to entertain them. Today Addie got to try her hand at photography.
She's also been helping me cook. A lot. Spending time with her BFF (Best Friend Forever) has been a lifesaver, but now they are out of town for two whole weeks!
We're going to try some new crafts this afternoon. I'm thinking home-made play-doh! Anything to distract her from whatever it is that's bothering her.
We're also working on a new routine to hopefully make our days a bit easier. So far it has definitely helped with her new strategy of fighting bed time (screaming and hollering to let me know she's angry).
The thing is, I know there's nothing wrong with her. Absolutely nothing. She might be teething. I know a lot of them have been moving under the surface recently, and I thought she cut at least one last week but it still hasn't come through! She won't let me look in her mouth though, so I don't know what's going on in there.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. If you read this, you're a saint!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
My Mother, My Hero
Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and to commemorate it, I thought I would share something I wrote in high school.
I was given an assignment in my high school speech class to give a speech about my hero. The decision was not hard, given what my family had just been through...
I was given an assignment in my high school speech class to give a speech about my hero. The decision was not hard, given what my family had just been through...
I was told to give a speech about my hero today. It took me awhile to come up with someone that i could write about and really appreciate, but then I realized who I have always admired...More now than I ever have before. It might sound cliche, but today, I am going to talk about my mother. I'm not going to talk about her as a parent, though. I just want to talk about her as a person.
She really is the strongest person I know. I remember a time a little over a year ago when she sat me and my sister down on the couch and told us she had some important news...She went to the doctor and they found what they thought might be cancer. She had one night to prepare us and to prepare herself for what might happen. My sister and I sat there and cried for awhile, but she told us to be strong, because no matter what, she was going to beat it. The next morning, she left to go to the hospital to have her surgery. She did not know what to expect when she woke up. When she got out of surgery, the doctor informed her that he removed her left breast because he did find cancer. Soon after that, she started chemotherapy, which made her really sick. I know she felt horrible and weak, but every morning she got herself out of bed, took a shower, got dressed, and put her make up on...even if the most exciting thing she would be doing that day was watch TV on the living room couch. One day, I came home from school and asked her about this and she said nothing was going to stop her from living her life.
I remember sitting with her at the kitchen table one Saturday morning as she ran her hands through her hair and it started falling out. That was the first time I saw my mother cry. She shaved her head and got a wig styled to look good on her and things went back to normal...or at least as normal as they could be in my house at that time. She still went to most of the football games to see me, went to all of my band concerts, and seemed concerned about how my day went.
After a long year of hard work and a lot of struggling to keep the household running, she was considered in remission. She has now had 5 surgeries with one more to go. After a year and a half, life is going back to the way it should be. With this speech coming up, I sat her down the other night and talked about everything that happened. She told me that she had seen me and my sister through too many hard times and if she did not get to see us graduate, she was not doing her job....and that if she got to see us married, she was truly blessed.
My mom is my hero because she taught me the most important lesson anyone can learn. No matter what happens in life, you do what you need to to keep going.
Happy Mothers Day, Mom. You earned it.
She really is the strongest person I know. I remember a time a little over a year ago when she sat me and my sister down on the couch and told us she had some important news...She went to the doctor and they found what they thought might be cancer. She had one night to prepare us and to prepare herself for what might happen. My sister and I sat there and cried for awhile, but she told us to be strong, because no matter what, she was going to beat it. The next morning, she left to go to the hospital to have her surgery. She did not know what to expect when she woke up. When she got out of surgery, the doctor informed her that he removed her left breast because he did find cancer. Soon after that, she started chemotherapy, which made her really sick. I know she felt horrible and weak, but every morning she got herself out of bed, took a shower, got dressed, and put her make up on...even if the most exciting thing she would be doing that day was watch TV on the living room couch. One day, I came home from school and asked her about this and she said nothing was going to stop her from living her life.
I remember sitting with her at the kitchen table one Saturday morning as she ran her hands through her hair and it started falling out. That was the first time I saw my mother cry. She shaved her head and got a wig styled to look good on her and things went back to normal...or at least as normal as they could be in my house at that time. She still went to most of the football games to see me, went to all of my band concerts, and seemed concerned about how my day went.After a long year of hard work and a lot of struggling to keep the household running, she was considered in remission. She has now had 5 surgeries with one more to go. After a year and a half, life is going back to the way it should be. With this speech coming up, I sat her down the other night and talked about everything that happened. She told me that she had seen me and my sister through too many hard times and if she did not get to see us graduate, she was not doing her job....and that if she got to see us married, she was truly blessed.
My mom is my hero because she taught me the most important lesson anyone can learn. No matter what happens in life, you do what you need to to keep going.
This speech was written originally 7 years ago. My mom has since been considered "cured"-if you can ever truly be cured of cancer is beside the point. She never did have that last surgery. She said it was just reconstructive, and really doesn't want to go "under the knife" again if she can help it. It's all behind us now.
Two-and-a-half years ago, I cried with my mom on my wedding day. She was there, dancing. We really weren't sure if she would be there for awhile.
In all honesty, as a high school student, wrapped up in my own drama and my own life, I never realized how bad my mom really got. How worried I really should have been. I guess she kept all of that from us to protect us. Now, as an adult, talking to my Granny, talking to mom, I realize what I close call we avoided back then.
My mom is my hero for all the life lessons she's taught me, and for sticking by me no matter what I decide (even if that decision is to move across the country with her grand baby), and for persevering.
Easy Peasy...or Not..
I flip through your pictures, and you make it look so easy. You're still in the hospital, but your hair is done. Your pictures look almost poetic. The happy new family, full of love, smiles, and photo opps.
Why is it so hard for me, while others make it look so easy?
Maybe it's not so easy for you. Maybe that's just on the surface. I couldn't do that. What I feel and experience goes out into the open. I guess that's why this blog is so perfect for me.
Maybe I do put too much out there for the world to see. Maybe I share too much. I'm okay with that, though.
You see, I have this hope that what I write can help another struggling mom. I hope I can show that mom that's wondering, "Why do they make it look so easy?! " that we don't all have an easy time of it.
Maybe I can help another mom to not feel so alone. To not feel so crappy when she's struggling, barely treading water.
You aren't going to drown. Just relax and let your body float back to the surface. Accept that maybe you won't have the perfect form, but you can still stay in the pool.
I did.
Why is it so hard for me, while others make it look so easy?
Maybe it's not so easy for you. Maybe that's just on the surface. I couldn't do that. What I feel and experience goes out into the open. I guess that's why this blog is so perfect for me.Maybe I do put too much out there for the world to see. Maybe I share too much. I'm okay with that, though.
You see, I have this hope that what I write can help another struggling mom. I hope I can show that mom that's wondering, "Why do they make it look so easy?! " that we don't all have an easy time of it.
Maybe I can help another mom to not feel so alone. To not feel so crappy when she's struggling, barely treading water.
You aren't going to drown. Just relax and let your body float back to the surface. Accept that maybe you won't have the perfect form, but you can still stay in the pool.
I did.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
My Family Isn't Your Guinea Pig, Pampers!
Attention all parents! I have a WTF?! Moment for you all.
You see, a few months ago, Pampers came out with a new Dry Max diaper that is thinner and more absorbent, but at what cost?
A few months ago, Addie also started getting much worse rashes on her lower back and stomach. It's actually what prompted our allergy testing.
In a completely unrelated course of action, we ended up switching diapers a few weeks ago. Addie's rashes are much much better in that area. I actually never made the connection before now since we were dealing with rashes all over, but the diaper area cleared up at the same time we made the switch.
Now, in our case maybe it could be coincidence. Maybe. Seriously though! Stop using my family (or any other) as a guinea pig! First it was the Tylenol recall, and now this.
You see, a few months ago, Pampers came out with a new Dry Max diaper that is thinner and more absorbent, but at what cost?
A few months ago, Addie also started getting much worse rashes on her lower back and stomach. It's actually what prompted our allergy testing.
In a completely unrelated course of action, we ended up switching diapers a few weeks ago. Addie's rashes are much much better in that area. I actually never made the connection before now since we were dealing with rashes all over, but the diaper area cleared up at the same time we made the switch.
Now, in our case maybe it could be coincidence. Maybe. Seriously though! Stop using my family (or any other) as a guinea pig! First it was the Tylenol recall, and now this.
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