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Friday, July 24, 2009

Family Planning

I used to think I wanted 2 kids, preferably about 2-2 1/2 years apart. Most people would say that is the perfect age difference. I always agreed. "Get my baby-making years behind me," I always said. "Why wait? I can have an early retirement this way and all my birds will fly the nest sooner!" I exclaimed when people acted shocked at my planning. I've since learned that what you plan, and what you get, are 2 different things.

Now? I have decided to slow way down. The past 3 years have been such a blur, I barely remember them anymore. I think it's time to put my feet up and relax for a few years. Hypothetically, that is. I'm sure there won't be much relaxing and propping of the feet with a toddler on the loose.

My family laughs at me when they hear I'm not ready for another baby just yet. "So," they say, "when are you having your next??"

"Not for a while. Probably a few more years," I reply.

(Chuckle) "Oh really?! Life's harder with a baby than you expected, huh?" I hear in return.

That's not quite the case, as I'm sure many moms can tell you. Plans change. Desires change. Life changes.

It's not that I don't want another baby, and it's not that having a baby is harder than I expected (okay, okay it's a tiny bit harder but that's not the point). It's just that we are in a different place in our lives than we expected a year and a half ago.

Besides that, emotionally we aren't prepared to do this all over again. I want to enjoy my little girl while she's still little. I want my body back for a little while. Mine. To enjoy myself again.

The sleepless nights and the days that blended into each other? I can totally handle that again. I can even handle the colic, and those first few weeks of breastfeeding again. I just can't handle not being 100% there for my little girl yet. Kudos to those moms that can do it. I applaud you if you can devote 200% of yourself to your kids. That's just not me.

That being said, I think we have finally decided on the time frame for baby #2 being another 3-4 years away. Sure, that's a pretty big age gap. Sure, it means I won't be "done" as early as I'd expected. I guess that's one of the benefits of being a Young Mom. Time is on my side. I'm not racing against my biological clock to have all of my kids by a certain time. When you look at it that way, a 5 year gap sounds perfectly fine.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, having a second child looks a lot different from this side of the delivery room. I know what to expect. I know what I'm getting myself into, and knowing this, I think it's best we slow down for a little while and just enjoy what we already have.


1 comment:

  1. You know, sometimes it amazes me how you can write something that captures my feelings EXACTLY!