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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Dear Addie, Love Mommy

Dear Addie,

Today, I watched you cross the living room for the first time using your push walker. When you realized what you had done, you turned to look at me with the silliest grin on your face while you fell down and clapped with me.  It was, by far, the cutest thing I have ever seen.  You couldn't believe what you had accomplished, and looked to me for recognition and applause.  I grasp at every moment like this, because I know this won't last long.
One day, you will look to your friends for praise instead of me.  One day, you'll be embarrassed when I cheer you on.  One day, it will take a lot more to elicit a silly little grin.  One day, you will grow up.

Maybe I am just catching a glimpse of my own mortality tonight, I'm not sure.  I just can't bear, at this moment, to think of the day that your world stops revolving around me and Daddy.  What happens? When do babies grow up into children, and then teenagers, and then adults?  How have other parents survived this feeling of knowing that this little being that once needed them so much is now growing more and more independent?

I just wanted to take this time tonight and write you this letter to let you know how much I am enjoying having you in my life.  I wanted you to know how much you fulfill my life.  I couldn't imagine my life without you, and while I dread the day that you grow up and realize you don't need me, I also can't wait until that day comes and I can say I have watched you grow into the person you will be.

You will always be my sweet little girl-my sunshine-no matter how big you grow.

Love, Mommy


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