Beach Day

Ahhhh...

Yesterday morning, when we woke up, we discovered that for the first time in over a week, we had gorgeous blue skies.  While the rain last week was a welcome change after such a dry summer, the sun that followed was almost more welcome!

We decided during coffee that we would take off for the day and hit the beach for a little fun in the sun.  It was such a relaxing day, something we've all needed for awhile after the stresses of a job hunt. 

My cousin and her kids came with us, and the kids had a blast skipping through the water, building sand "cakes" and "snow angels", and collecting sea shells. 

Living near the beaches again is definitely a perk to being back home.  It is so nice to go spend the day at the beach after having made no plans to do so!

It's Hard to Do...

I want to write.  So badly, do I want to write.  I have all of these ideas swimming in my head.  I have a notebook I carry around, just so I can jot down what's in my head at any given time. 

I just can't.

It's hard to focus, these days.  It's hard to think about things like crafting tutorials, writing prompts, discussing the "why's" of the last few months.  It's hard to do any of that when everything feels so up in the air.

I thought things were finally coming together.  I thought that after years of struggling and sacrificing, we'd finally hit "pay day." I was wrong.  So, so, so wrong.

It's just hard to care about anything but my disappointment this week.

I feel like the last few years have been spent on Humpty Dumpty.  Yeah...the egg guy that fell from the wall.  After my husband's discharge from the military, I've felt like all we've done is focus on putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.  This month, he was whole, all except one vital piece.  The piece we couldn't find.

That left him weak for this last fall, and now, all I can do is worry that he'll never be whole.

Sure Enough, Snow..

Well, sure enough...we've got snow.  In late February even.  It started mid-morning yesterday and has been snowing off and on for the last 24 hours.  My front yard has turned into a bit of a winter wonderland.. It's quite beautiful, depending on your tastes.

My tastes change throughout the year.  Even a month ago, I would have thought this was beautiful.  I would have been thrilled at the chance to play in the snow and would have been drinking hot chocolate while watching it out the window.  Now, however? Now my inner Texan is kicking and screaming like a 2 year old in a candy aisle.

It's not supposed to snow in almost-March!  My body is aching for 70 degree weather and salty air. I want to buy tank tops and sandals again.  I want to need a reason to look good in a bikini again! I'm tired of hats (okay, not really!), long sleeve shirts, and layers. 

Oh, beautiful snow, I love you, but you're a little late this year.  Can you please let the sun come out to play?

Wanderlust

Kalaloch, WA

My whole life, I have always had the distinct feeling that the grass would be greener on the other side.  I always felt like there was somewhere else I should be; somewhere bigger and better.  I was a big traveler, heading out to big cities and exotic places.  Every time I went somewhere new, I started daydreaming of living there.  Then, I moved here and it all changed.  I feel like from the moment I arrived in Washington, I knew I had finally found a place to settle down.  As it turns out, the grass really is greener here.  So are the trees.  It must be all of the rain.

For the first time in my life, there is no where I'd rather be.  My wanderlust has finally been satisfied.  Sure, I get homesick-quite frequently as a matter of fact, but I have no desire to leave here now, or any time soon.

Ironically, for the first time in my life, the decision is not entirely in my hands.  I've mentioned before the struggles we've faced since moving here.  It's been a hard  (almost) three years here, and we're reaching the end of a very long journey that has left us achy and tired, and ready for a nice big meal.  In other words, Willie is almost done with school, and the job searching has begun.

While he's searching, the reality is hitting the two of us like a ton of bricks.  This is it. It's basically our last chance.  He's gone back to school. We've made the required sacrifices. We've (well, he's) worked the odd jobs and gone without insurance, all to make this happen.  This is the end of the road.  We've already decided that if-after all of this-he is still unable to find the appropriate work for someone with his education and experience here, we'll have to expand the job search as far as it will reach.

The idea saddens me.  I can't imagine leaving here.  By the time all of this works out, we will have been here for three years.  That's the longest I've lived anywhere other than the place I grew up, and even then I left as soon as I had graduated!

Seattle skyline at twilight, seen from West Seattle

Of course, this is the worst-case scenario. We've still got our hopes high that the area will prove as fruitful as we'd imagined when we first set our sights on the northwest.  Still, it never hurts to be prepared for all the possibilities.  In that mindset, I've been slowly coming to grips with the fact that I may have to say good-bye soon to a place that has finally felt like home.  It's left me a bit withdrawn and cranky. 

This is not like me, though.  I don't really know how to react to the idea of leaving a place before I'm ready.  Last week, for example, we had to come up with a list of the top ten places we would be willing to transfer for a job.  Yes, top ten places we would transfer.  It's a pretty impressive job, too, so of course we came up with a list of places we would like to see.  After all, this was our agreement when we decided to move here.  We had to allow it to be a temporary home if necessary.  We have no true roots holding us here, so we must be willing to go where we can find a decent income.  The only problem is, neither of us expected to become this attached to a place where we knew no one two and a half years ago.

No TV in the Bedroom!

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a TV in my bedroom.  I've always watched it at night, despite all of the studies that say you sleep better without noise and light (dare I say...duh!).

Anyway, I've always had one.  There was a really small amount of time while living with Willie before he went onto night shift where I didn't use the TV since he "couldn't sleep."  He was with me though.  I wasn't alone, so it didn't bother me.  There were also those few weeks where Addie slept in our room as a newborn and we didn't use the TV.  Otherwise though, when I'm alone, it's become a sort of security blanket.  I turn on F.R.I.E.N.D.S and snooze away to laugh tracks, jokes, and familiar voices.  I don't know what it is.  I swear I'm not obsessed with the show, it's just the only show I enjoy that doesn't have an irritating sound track on the disk that wakes me up (at least most of the time).

After awhile, Willie got used to it.  He dealt with it and learned to sleep through the noise and light.  It's actually proven beneficial for him.  Sleeping during the day with a toddler on the loose would probably be more irritating without some sort of tolerance to back ground noise.

Unfortunately,  my sleep has been erratic at best lately.  I wake up tired and sore. I toss and turn all night on my Tempur-Pedic mattress and pillows.  I've been feeling it more and more with all of the extra pressure I'm putting on myself lately.  This past Wednesday, while Willie was off of work, he asked if we could just not turn the TV on.  Apparently he's been sleeping poorly as well.  So, the TV stayed off. All night.

The next night-Thursday, Willie was back at work.  I decided to give it a try again.  Wednesday had been the best sleep I'd had in months.  It was either the Tylenol or the TV.  I was doing an experiment.  I had an amazing nights sleep!  Again!  Last night was night 4.  It's getting easier.  I actually read a bit before bed to clear my mind.  I don't wake up all night to re-start a disk when the music gets old, or turn down the TV if it's waking me up.

I'm so proud of myself! Twenty Something years old and I finally got rid of my "security blanket." I can really, truly be alone while I sleep.  I even took the DVD player out of the bedroom so I don't get tempted.  We have no cable hooked up in that room so really DVD's would be my only option, so I know I'll stick with it now!

I am just so proud of this personal growth to be able to quit a habit so ingrained in my routine so easily.  I mean, seriously, I don't remember ever not having a TV in my room, even when I lived at home.  This is really something.

You're Lucky, You Know..

What is with this phrase? I must say, nothing irks me more than being told I'm "so lucky."

You're so lucky you've lost so much weight after the baby....I guess you haven't seen my food journal or my daily weigh ins that I did for months.

You're so lucky you got out of that little hometown of yours and have you're own life...You could do it, too, if you wanted to badly enough.

You're so lucky you're able to stay home with Addie every day....Read my response to that last comment.  Same applies.

You know what? I'm not lucky.  Willie and I work really, really hard for what we have.  We make a lot of sacrifices for me to be able to stay at home with Addie.  It's what we wanted and it's what's important to us.  It's not something that just fell into our laps.  It's not an opportunity that was given to me for no reason.  It's what I've wanted forever.  I never knew what I wanted to do with my life other than be a mom and be with my kids, so that's what I'm doing.  Willie works harder because of it.  We do without a lot of things...like a second car, our own home, dinners out, dates, babysitters, and so many little things. Addie practically lives in hand-me-downs.  She doesn't have a ton of toys(although she has a great imagination and love for the outdoors).

We're not lucky that we moved across country, either.  Again, it's something we wanted, and worked hard for.  We sacrificed a lot to be able to do it.  We're still sacrificing. Willie is back in school because he couldn't find a job in his field when we moved here.

Lucky is being given a house, like both my sister and cousin have experienced.  Lucky is being given cars left and right, or being given money to live on every day.  We're not lucky. We're just hard workers.

Many of our decisions were followed by overwhelming fear that almost made us turn back, but we did it.  I quit my job and we  live off of Willie's income (at least until my business takes off and I can help supplement) and it's hard most days.  We weigh each purchase like it were a major purchase.  Even better (and scarier, and harder), we do it completely alone.  We don't have our families to lean on for support.  Grandma isn't coming over to babysit for free so I can get housework done or go grocery shopping in peace.  I can't remember our last date night.

Don't get me wrong, all of it is worth it.  I love my life.  I get stressed just like anyone else, but I still love it.  I don't regret a single decision we've made in the last four years- okay, maybe I regret the decision last night to not go buy ice cream.  If I were to do it all over again, I'd probably make the same decisions.  My point, though, is to please quit telling me I'm "lucky." Luck didn't have anything to do with where we are now.  Recognize our hard work for what it is.  Hard.  Know that we stress out about money and what the future holds just as much as everyone else, but we do it because we've already weighed the pros and cons and know we can get through it.

I'm not lucky.  I'm just determined, and very, very stubborn.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

This week (Mother's Day to be exact) marks our two-year anniversary in the Pacific Northwest.  It's a big occasion! 

They say time flies when you're having fun.  It sure does.  Time flies so fast it looks like a red streak zipping down the road in front of you.  Has it really been two years?  I still feel like such a new kid here.  I still feel  like I have a lot to learn.  I'm not part of the crowd yet.  We're still not really settled.

I believe that is partly due to how much life keeps changing for us.  We arrived in Washington this time two years ago cold, scared, and 13 weeks pregnant with Addie.  We didn't know anyone except my aunt-who I barely knew at the time.  I was so nervous to get our lives started.  I mean, that's why we moved here, right? To get our lives started again.  To start over.

Two years ago today, we were both unemployed, but confident that the hefty sum of money we were sent here with would hold out until we started making better money. It did, but only by us settling.  The market is just not there right now.  Willie finally found a job only remotely related to his field working for Sears.  He made decent money, but at what cost? I never saw him.

Almost a year later, we couldn't take it anymore.  We were both tired of waiting for our lives to start, so Willie decided to go back to school.  He took on a 3 month certificate program to get him into a hospital in a kinder work environment and enrolled in a nursing program so he could find a job that was in demand.  He's been at it for almost a year now (again).  People still laugh at us at what a drastic change we went through for Willie's career, but it's what we had to do at the time to get out of the hole we were digging ourselves deeper and deeper into.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Things are changing again.  Two weeks ago, Willie told me he was not sure he was happy on his current path.  He really wants to go back to working in electronics, so me being the supportive wife I am, agreed with this (I thought he enjoyed it more anyway).  Yesterday he got accepted into a college in Bremerton to get his associates degree in Electronic engineering.  We'll see in the next week or two how long that will take considering all of his military training and classes along with what he's already taken in college so far.  We're hoping for a year or less!

So, yes, we are facing more changes in our lives.  A song quote I have always loved is that "the only thing that stays the same is that everything changes."  Boy is that right.

We've faced many, many changes in the last two years, and there are many, many more changes waiting for us in our future.

New Home(s)

A lot has been happening over here in our household!  As you know, my family and I recently moved into a house further outside the city...out in the woods, in fact!

I don't have any pictures of the actual house, or the inside of the house, but here are a few pictures of us outside our new home. 

Willie got to mow the grass this week.  I've never seen him mow grass.  Maybe that's because we've never lived in a house before.

Doesn't he look happy? ;-)

Addie's also enjoying having a yard.  Before we moved here for real, we were over quite a bit visiting with our friends/landlords, and Addie and Loren would play out in the yard or in the drive way the whole time we visited.  For the first week and a half straight after we moved it rained ever day-no kidding.  Addie kept climbing up on the couch and pointing out the window saying "'side? 'side? Peeeeeeezze?!"  So since the weather has been nicer the last few days, we've spent time outside cleaning the garage, mowing grass (duh) and just letting her enjoy herself.

O

Oh look, I do have a picture of the house!

_________________________

In other news, you'll notice my blog also has a new "home".  Not really.You can still find me in the same cyber-space, but I sure did some re-decorating!

I'm sure you've noticed the new name-Twenty Something.  I thought it was time to branch out from my "mommy blogger" label.  I love blogging about my family, but I want to write about more than diapers, milestones, and daily schedules (not that I'm saying that's all mommy bloggers write about. I "heart" mommy bloggers!).

Another thing you've probably noticed is my totally awesome (if I do say so myself) new design and header from The Frilly Cocunut.  She does great work, don't you think?  You should definitely head over to her blog and check out her portfolio.  She also re-did my Twitter profile with a matching background.

All of the old faves are still on my blog, just rearranged.  Hopefully my blog can start to look a bit more organized and be a bit easier to navigate with my new navigation bar up at the top of the page (above the header).  You'll see links for "home", "green living", "crafts", and "parenthood" so you can easily find the topic you want to read about literally with the click of a button.  I also now have a blog button! Feel free to grab it to show some love for me on your blog.  It's on the right hand side.  I'll be adding buttons to my blog now as well...erm...just as soon as I find the time! I promise!

So, I hope you enjoyed seeing my new home(s) tonight.  I look forward to hearing what you have to say on my new look!

Single Parents..

Today, I was listening to BJ Shay's show on our favorite station.  He had the author of "Men are Just Better" on his show and was taking callers.  Willie is telling me it was a repeat show but it was the first time I heard it so I'm blogging about it.

Now, I only heard the last caller, but something he said really struck a cord.

This caller was wondering what advice they would have for a woman trying to turn the tables. She wanted her boyfriend to be the main provider for their family because she felt it was important for a woman to be in the home.  Obviously,  I agree with that.  She went on to tell about her situation growing up with a single mom that was the "I can do it all" type, and that's why she has such a great paying job and the mentality of taking care of herself.

The advice, though, that is where I start to disagree.  BJ and the guest speaker told her that she is the way she is because her parents are divorced.  He went on to tell her that single parents destroy children...


Wait...what?!

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard him say that.  I've heard comments along those same lines on his show before, but nothing so blatantly against single parents.


I get his ideas in some aspects.  Should women intentionally get pregnant without a partner just because they want a baby and think they can do it all?  Probably not.  It's their decision of course, but maybe that's not the best scenario for the kids. I understand his point in that situation, but to say that all single mothers destroy kids, well, I actually lost a bit of respect for him there.

My mom was a single parent.  It wasn't her choice, not really.  She did instill different values in me and my sister than if she had stayed with my dad, but I certainly don't feel destroyed.  I'm very capable. I'm very functional. I don't feel that I need therapy.

As a matter of fact, I don't always feel like I can do it all.  I'll be the first to admit that I can't do something, or at least can't do it as well as Willie does.  This is the reason I haven't been on the Wii Fit since we moved.  I'm waiting on him to connect it all, since he does something fancy with all the cords and speakers and I just get lost back there!

So, do you think that single parents destroy their children? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject.

Stream of Consciousness-A Catch Up

So, this post is basically going to be a bunch of rambling off the top of my head-just a forewarning!

I haven't truly blogged in what feels like ages.  As it turns out...starting a business is a lot of work!

So, here's an update on my life.

Business:

The past couple of months, I have been putting pretty much all of my energy into creating inventory, researching craft businesses, and networking as much as I could.  I have spent every waking minute doing this.  It really seems to be worth it though!  In the past two weeks, I have been featured on Etsy's front page twice now, and received  15 sales from it.

Needless to say, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me!  It's been fun though.

I also just applied for two Farmers Markets this week.  Tuesday I have a quality control meeting to show them my products and samples of a display-which means that tomorrow I get to play around with display ideas with Jess's help!  I'm pretty excited to see how it will all come together and to see what needs to be done in the coming months.  Both markets start in mid-May, so I've got about a month to finish up my inventory and get it where I want it. 

Personal:

In other news, Addie is getting so big!  She is parroting everything we say now, and seems to have real conversations with us (not that we can totally understand the conversations).  She's growing strong, finally climbing on everything.  She really seems to like the time we spend in our new house on occasion. 

Tomorrow morning we get to get up and go to the house and bring over all of our storage items to leave in the garage.  They said the house will be ready by Wednesday of next week and we can move in as soon as that happens! I'm pretty excited.  I'll have plenty of storage, a new work room (with a door),  a photo "studio" area that can stay in place in the garage, and so much more.

We're also planning our trip to Texas this summer.  We'll get to stay in the newly built family beach cabin for half of the trip.  I am already packing in my mind.  Swimsuits, sunscreen, sand toys, a pop-up tent, sun hats, baby sandals...eek! Did I mention I'm excited?

Blog:

You may have noticed my blog looking...blah for a few months now. Nothing but a boring header and some unorganized side bars.  Yuck.  Well, the thing is I was waiting to sign up for The Frilly Coconut's Design List!.  It appears I'm finally on her "working on" list, so it shouldn't be long now before I have a totally fabulous blog design to show off and hopefully get me out of this writing funk.  I'd love to start focusing on that more now that I'm in a routine.

So, there ya go, there's really not much new going on. At least, not as much as it feels like while being caught in the tornado of my life.  Maybe in a few days I'll blog about our recent snow-shoeing trip.  That was a lot of fun! I got some great pictures, too. Maybe this week I'll sort through those, too!

CUTEure Feature and a Give Away!

Hello, all! It's late tonight, but I have very exciting news!!



CUTEure was featured on the front page of Etsy today! How exciting? This earned me hundreds of views on my bunny booties and 30 hearts-which if you are familiar with Etsy-land you'll know that's a big deal!

I also have more exciting news for those of you eying my products but leary to buy.  I have agreed to enter CUTEure into a blog giveaway over at Giggling Kids. Please go check out her blog for a chance to win a $10 gift code to my shop!  Good luck!!

In other news...well there isn't much.  We are getting ready for a weekend get-away starting tomorrow!! We'll be spending the weekend in Bend, Or to hopefully go snow shoeing and spend some time with my aunt and uncle.  I really can't wait! Although...it won't be a vacation from "work" for me! Thanks to my feature (and just the plain cute-ness of the booties!) I have six pair to complete and get shipped out in time for Easter!

Farewell to a Dream..

For those of you who do not know (but may care), our family is moving.  Not too far away or anything, but we are moving.  We are going to pay the penalty charge at our apartment and move into a four-bedroom house.

Why are we doing this again? Two reasons. 

1) Ever since our flood, this apartment has had an...aroma...A musty, smelly, almost-moldy aroma.  We've spoken to the apartment manager about this and she claims they've checked twice before moving us back in and there is no mold or moisture in the walls or carpet.  Unfortunately for them, we found mold last week in the bathroom where the flood originated.  Sucks for them.  Sucks for us, too, for a number of reasons.  Despite the mold (it was a small amount-able to be cleaned up with harsh chemicals which I hate), our primary reason for wanting to leave is the smell.

2) We found a place!  Some great friends of ours-possibly our closest friends here in Washington-own a few rentals and one became available a little over a month ago!  It is a 4 bedroom house! With a yard!! 

I absolutely can't wait.  Then again...part of my heart is sinking...just a little bit.  I moved across the country to live in Seattle.  We couldn't afford the rent when we first moved here, so we agreed to live in the "suburbs" until Willie found a good job and started making money.  Little did we know that after a year in the area, he was going to make a huge career change that included another four years of schooling and training and climbing a whole new ladder. 

Like I said, I can't wait to move.  I'm excited to get into a house, especially being so close to such great friends.  That's not what this blog post is about though.  I need to get the negatives off my chest tonight.

This move-while best for our family for a number of reasons-will move us further from Seattle.  Maybe it sounds a little crazy to want this so badly, but I just feel like I've missed out on that experience.  We will now be moving another 30-or-so miles further from the city.  That makes a full 1-hour commute.

The pros are that we'll be in a smaller (safer) area, near the water, with a yard, near friends, with a built-in play mate for Addie, with a garden.

The cons are...we'll be further from Seattle.  I can't fight it anymore.  I dug my heals in long enough on this argument until I finally recently decided I can't fight it anymore.  It's better for our family. It's better for Willie. Closer to his job. 

I've known since this time last year that my fight was childish, irrational, and even a little selfish.

It's not worth it to fight it anymore. 

Girl's Got Style

I gotta say, Addie doesn't have much choice in what she wears daily yet, but she sure does have style! Hair style that is!

 

I styled her hair today by spritzing it and twirling it around my fingers a bit.  Wow. I knew she had curls but this is stinkin' adorable.  

I may have to start styling my 1-year-old's hair daily now that I've seen this!

A Blanket for Linus

I recently finished my most in-depth, time consuming crochet project and thought I would share it here for all of you to enjoy.

A month and a half ago I was at a loss as to what to get my friend for a "welcome baby" gift for the imminent arrival of number 2.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom married to a college student. We don't have a lot of disposable income, and since this was her second in less than 3 years, it's not like she needed anything.

Suddenly, the thought came to me that I should make her something special-something he would get a lot of use out of-but what?  At that moment, Addie walked by holding her blankie-her lovey.  Perfect!

So, here it is, a blanket for Linus.  And yes, that's his name.  She did make it too perfect!!

I love this blanket.  I wanted colors that are perfect for a little boy, but something other than just a basic blue and white baby blanket.  I decided to use colors found in nature for this blanket, and I think they look great together.

I used Lion's Brand Wool-Ease yarn in Caramel, Avocado, Fisherman, and Blue Heather.

With these colors, I made 9 granny squares for each color-totaling 36 granny squares.  Since this was a much bigger project than most everything I make, I decided to work on it little by little in between other projects which is why it ended up taking as long as it did.  Every night after I was done making a hat or hair bows, I would make a granny square, or many granny squares depending on the night.

 

Once I was finished making all of the Granny Squares, it was time to sew them all together.  To do this, I just held two Granny Squares together and used a darning needle to sew them together and weaved in each end.  That's a lot of ends!

 

 

Finally, to give the blanket a finished look, I decided to do a shell stitching* around each edge. This helps hide the imperfections such as slightly different squares.  The finished product...

 

...Is the perfect little blankie for a new little boy.

I hope he enjoys it as much as I enjoyed making it.  Unfortunately, I haven't been able to give him his gift yet.  He went back into the hospital before I got to meet him due to a bacterial infection he picked up during birth.  All is well though, according to his mom, he is improving quickly and will be out of there as soon as he finishes his antibiotics!

So, here is a big, giant "Get Well Soon!" for baby Linus, and a big, giant hug for his momma-if she happens to read my blog.

I hope you enjoyed my reading about the process! 

This post has attended the I Made It! Blog Party over at Everything Etsy. Check out the other attendees!

* Shell Stitch: 2 hdc, ch 1, 2 hdc in same stitch, skip next 2 sts and repeat

What's Cookin'? Wednesday!

Surprised? Two blog posts within two days?  And it's a WCW post? Something I haven't done in ages?!

Yep! That's right! I'm on a roll this week!

This week I'm here to share a fun, kid-friendly recipe I found in the September 2009 edition of Parent's magazine.  I tore it out of the magazine and put it with the recipes I'd like to try someday.  Well, a week ago we tried it for the first time, and let me tell you.  Not only did Addie scarf down a plate full, Willie also said he wanted it again! It was delicious and nutritious. So here it is:

Pork Chops with a Cherry Cranberry glaze, Broccoli, and mashed sweet potatoes!

What you'll need:
1 tbs canola oil
4 pork chops (I used 6 thin-cut ones for quicker cooking)
1 pkg Ore-Ida Steam n' Mash frozen Sweet Potatoes (You know me, I prefer fresh)
1 pkg frozen broccoli
1 cup frozen pitted sweet cherries
1/2 cup cranberry juice
1 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp coarse mustard

Heat oil in a large skillet on medium.  Add the pork chops and cook until done-about 10 minutes.  Remove chops from skillet and cover with foil.  Meanwhile, put your skinned, chopped sweet potatoes on to boil (or put the frozen potatoes in the microwave).  Microwave broccoli according to package directions, and combine cherries, cranberry juice, cornstarch, and mustard in the skillet. Cook and stir for about 2-3 minutes until the sauce is thickened and bubbly.

Pour sauce over pork and serve with sweet potatoes and broccoli.  Serves 4.

Waking up Before the Kids

I hear people talk about this concept over and over, and yet, after 15 months, I still can't grasp it.

Waking up before your toddler.  It's a novel concept.  Can you imagine? Checking your email in silence, drinking a cup (or 2) of coffee.  Maybe even a shower! I mean really,  can you imagine the endless possibilities?

Normally, my morning goes something like this:

6:30-7 a.m.: Willie walks in the door from night shift.  I roll over and go back to sleep.
7:30-8 a.m.: Addie wakes up, usually laughing and talking to her "friends". I enjoy the sound and doze in and out for the next 10-30 minutes depending on what time she woke up and how happy she is.  Some moms can't wait to see that first smile in the morning.  Me? I'm just content knowing she does smile in the morning.
8:15-8:30 a.m.: Milk for Addie, coffee for me.  Breakfast, which  is randomly rotated between cold cereal, oatmeal, whole-wheat blueberry pancakes with yogurt, omlets, or whole-grain french toast.
8:45-11 a.m.: Addie plays, I check my email, blog occasionally, and do any miscellaneous CUTEure work which ranges from creating, taking photos, editing photos, listing new items, buying supplies, going to the post office, etc, etc. 
Lately this part has been pretty stressful. You see, from the very beginning, I made sure Addie could play alone. Sure, I love playing with her and teaching her things, but I also need her to entertain herself with her toys sometimes.  This last month though, it's like her toys don't exist unless I'm playing with them!
11 a.m.: NAP TIME!! The time for me to focus, re-group, and actually get something done-despite all the time I allot to work in the morning, let's face it, that usually doesn't happen with a toddler!

In light of this schedule, and the fact that I'm not being nearly as productive as I'd like to be, I decided last night that today would be the day once again, that I attempt to wake up before Addie, get coffee started, and get a shower in.  Just getting those small things out of the way on my own will make my whole day go more smoothly,  I just know it!!

Unfortunately, while this concept sounds easy enough, it just hasn't happened.  Trust me, this isn't my first attempt.  It appears that Addie knows when I plan on waking up before her.  She must have an alarm clock in her crib that goes off 5 minutes before mine does, because man. Every single time I attempt to wake up before her by an hour, she wakes up 5 minutes before me and stays awake. 

I just don't get it.  You would not think waking up in the morning would be a complicated task until you have kids.  What's a mom to do?  After 15 months of lounging in my pajamas until noon when I finally get some alone time, I'm kind of ready to lead a real life again, with a schedule of my own, a daily shower in the morning, maybe even some mascara now and then.

So, tomorrow I will try again!  Perserverance is the key! One day-maybe 18 years from now, but one day-I will have a shower every morning and a quiet cup of coffee while I check my emails. 

Until then...I will wear my jammies until noon, hide my hair under a hat if I have to get out of the house, and drink cold coffee while trying to distract a toddler so I can get some work done. 

Is it nap time yet??

My Plea Was Answered!

Remember this post? You know, the one where I begged, pleaded, and got down on my knees in front of the organizational gods asking for help reining in my mess?

Well, I am here to tell you that my plea was answered!  While staying in the model home, I realized how well Addie played by herself when her toys were in the living room vs. the play room.  It really got me thinking about how I'm constantly sitting on the floor in the play room (gee, I wonder why I have a bad back?) watching her play while I crocheted or tried to hide my laptop from her lest she maul it.

Suddenly, it hit me.  Why don't I just trade with her?! She can play in the dining room where my "craft area" used to be, and I can take over her play room and have my own room dedicated to ribbon, yarn, glue, felt, and clay!

I must say, it's worked out beautifully.  I spent the entire day today in my new craft room, finally.  It's been ready for a little over a week but sometimes life happens, and sometimes death happens. There's always something keeping me out of my new space, but today I spent most of the day relishing in the semi-organized craft supplies, and making hair bows.  I think this room will help keep me productive. There are much fewer distractions in a room dedicated to crafting.

So, without further adieu, I present you with...my craft room!

 

The obligatory "before" picture. Post play room, pre- craft room.  As you can see, it's not a very large space, but I've done what I can with it.

 

This is where the majority of my crafting will happen.  Eventually I plan on getting a bigger table, but this is a freebie that has come in handy!  At one point in my bachelorette days it even served as my kitchen table.

 

Close up of some of my ribbon. Again, a free, innovative way to keep my ribbon organized. There is another dowel on the other side.  The table originally had thick handles here on the sides to move it easily. All I did was unscrew those and slide them out, then I slipped a thin wooden dowel into it's place and filled it with ribbon spools.  Easy, free, and organized!

 

Here is my yarn! It is no longer tossed into the ottoman in our living room.  I have a crochet-bag that has the yarn needed for my current projects, and the rest is getting stored in these two baskets and slid into the bottom shelf of a small book case to protect them from Addie. 

 

 Here's my works-in-progress shelf.  Now I know I won't lose projects I set aside.

 

These are fabulous, so I had to include a picture.  At some point in the near future they will be chopped up and made into hair accessories...but until then they can brighten up my new workspace...and my blog! 

I do have more organization than this. The majority of my supplies are now stored in one of those tall white plastic drawer container things.  And yes, that's the accurate terminology!  I thought I would spare you a photo of a tall white and clear cabinet with drawers. I mean...unless you want to see it, of course.

I still have a lot of work I would love to do. I mean, it's still a pretty far cry from the photos I fantasize about while browsing the internet, but it's a start.  One day, I'll have the workspace of my dreams. Until then, I'll settle for having it all in one room!

 

Considering A New Direction

Hello, dear readers! I am back from yet another dark, damp cave, far far away from civilization and anything remotely resembling the computer or the internet. Why else would I desert you again for coming up on the third time in 6 weeks?  More on that later...well, maybe.

For now, I just wanted to write a quick post and maybe get some opinions.  As I have stated in my resolutions post, I am branching out in my blog. I am trying to show you more of my life than just the part about being a mom.  I will still blog about my parenting adventures. The joys, the struggles, the excitement, the fear, the firsts; but I would also love to share with you more about my business, more about my interests, more about what I do on a day to day basis.

I am looking into getting my blog re-done soon, but I need a new name! Unfortunately, a name like Surviving Motherhood, while catchy, will not do me well on this new road.

Any suggestions from the readers? I am having such writers block these last couple of weeks, and I fear it will continue until my blog is officially no longer "Surviving Motherhood", but something much more in tune about what I now want to write about.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Won't You be my Neighbor? *

I am about to blog about something I never realized was an issue for me.  Well, never until this week, that is.  You see, I never get to know my neighbors.  What’s the point? We are apartment dwellers, bouncing from one place to the next year after year, and chances are that our neighbors are as well.  Why go through the effort of really getting to know someone and be comfortable with them if you’re just going to lose track of them in a few months anyway?

It always seemed that our neighbors felt the same.  Sure, I make an effort right after someone moves in.  I try to catch them as they are coming or going (and I am coming or going) and give them a friendly smile and wave and hope for the best. I’ve always gotten the same reaction-an awkward smile as they look down at their feet and shuffle past to get into their apartment as fast as possible lest I try and start a conversation about the weather.  I just don’t get it. 

See, the thing is, I used to love being friendly with my neighbors! That’s what drew me to apartment living.  When I was 18, I moved into my cousin’s townhouse with her.  She was newly single and needed someone to help her split the rent, and I needed a place to sleep that wasn’t under my mother’s nose.  I had grown too used to freedom to be thrust back into her house and under her rule for any extend of time.  So, I packed my bags (again) and moved in with my cousin.  She was a very friendly and outgoing sort of person that made friends with everyone, so the work was already done for me.  Just show up outside on Friday afternoons with some food to share and BAM insta-friends.

Eventually, my cousin and her ex-boyfriend made up and he moved back in.  I couldn’t handle being the third wheel in the house so I found a new place to stay.  It was a garage apartment with only one neighbor.  He was a friendly guy, but his wife hated me for some reason that I never learned so we never hung out.  I guess that’s what broke the chain of friendly neighbors because from there on, I’ve never been friends with my neighbors.  I’ve always hoped to, but I just figured that that’s not really how apartment dwellers operated and that the one experience I had with friendly neighbors and afternoon barbecues was sadly not the norm.

I have contentedly set aside the notion that I will ever be friends with my neighbors again, living my life between a series of awkward nods and timing my departures to avoid that moment all together.  It has worked out well.  I don’t get my hopes up, and I don’t exhaust myself trying to make new friends every few months.  That is…it worked out well until this past week.  Like I said, I always assumed that my one friendly experience with neighbors was out of the norm, but after a conversation with our office manager, I wonder if this is really the case.

See, while discussing what to do about the flooding incident, I made a comment about “the joys of apartment living,” and she sounded surprised.  She told me that she just moved into her first house and her and her son felt very lonely and missed living in an apartment.  This confused me since I don’t feel any sense of community living here or any other complex recently. When I said so she said “Well, now you get to meet new neighbors and maybe you will have more in common with them,” to which I replied, “We haven’t even met the neighbors we’ve lived side by side with for almost a year, so I doubt we’ll get extra chummy with the neighbors we’re sharing walls with for four days.” Do you know she actually acted surprised that we hadn’t met our neighbors? Here I was thinking we were completely normal, I mean it’s not like we’re rude to our neighbors-we try to be friendly, it’s just that no one seems to reciprocate.  Now I’m beginning to wonder…

Is it us??

*Sorry for the Mr. Rogers flashback. Just couldn't help it while thinking of this post, originally titled "Getting to Know Your Neighbors"...see? Just not as catchy :)

The Not-So-Natural Disaster

This is the story of my week.

It all started Thursday morning when I woke up. The apartment was stinky, the litter box was overflowing, the laundry I had been folding for 2 days was in a pile in the basket, and the cat had pooped in the kitchen-not that I could tell where the kitchen was thanks to all the dishes that needed to be done. You see, I had been battling with some health issues for about a week and had basically “taken time off” if you will to rest because I was feeling so poorly. In fact, I was told to rest. The only problem is, the people telling you to rest generally don’t realize that if they don’t pick up the slack, nothing will get done. So, here it was Thursday morning and I snapped. I couldn’t rest any more. I got as much of the mess cleaned up as possible that morning and decided to take a break before I tackled scrubbing the bathrooms and mopping the floors-you know, all the “extras” that need to be done but don’t really affect how your apartment looks. I just couldn’t make myself keep moving. My body was exhausted and sore. I just wasn’t able to get to the minor details that day. I figured I would tackle them the next morning when I would hopefully be feeling better.

Thursday night was like any other night. Willie and I watched Project Runway and then headed to bed a little after midnight. Next thing I know, we are both being abruptly awoken by someone pounding on our door. I hear a lot of commotion upstairs and outside so I waited a minute to see if our neighbors were just getting rowdy. Then they knocked again and started ringing the doorbell, so Willie went to see who it was. We were both pretty worried at this point because just a few short weeks ago we got a notice from the police department stating that ground-level apartments in our area were getting broken into, and that their “technique” was that they knocked on the door to see if anyone was home, and if not they came in through a window. So Willie answers the door and it’s the maintenance man, who says that our upstairs neighbors had a pipe bust under their bathroom sink and he needed to check and see if it was leaking into our apartment. Sure enough, he didn’t even have to get all the way to the bathroom before water started squishing up around his feet. Half of our apartment was already flooded, and the water was coming down at an alarming rate. We checked and it was half way into Addie’s room, all through our dining room and front bathroom, down the hall, and making it’s way into our living room. That’s not to mention the water that seeped through the floor boards into the back bathroom and our closet. It was a huge mess. Huge.

The cleaning guy came knocking on our door an hour later to clean up the water (6 a.m.) and he told me that they were going to place two fans in our apartment which would hopefully get the mess cleaned up by Monday…Yes…Monday. We were facing three days with wet carpet, noisy fans, and electrical cords everywhere; all of this with a toddler. Oh, did I mention that he said it was going to start to smell? Lovely. So, we waited for the office to open up and headed down there to see what was going to happen. I’m sorry, but I was not going to stay in that apartment.

I went down there and the girl in the office didn’t even know anything about flooding or a busted pipe. She asked if I had called the emergency number to get it fixed or if it was still leaking, so of course I had to walk her through the whole situation. She said the manager would be back in an hour and that we should talk to her, so we went to Starbucks and got coffee. The whole time we were gone we discussed what we needed to tell them and what we wanted from the situation-which was really only a clean, quiet place to stay while they worked on our apartment. We were so worried we were just going to be told some excuse as to why they couldn’t temporarily move us. As it turns out, they were moot worries since the office manager called us 30 minutes later to “discuss our options.” She wanted to move us!! Hallelujah! She was basically willing to do anything we wanted at that point to keep us happy, and offered us the model home which is fully furnished, and the same size as ours.

After further inspection, it appeared our apartment got the majority of the damage. The reason they wanted to move us is so they could put more equipment in our apartment-so much more that it would no longer be advisable for us to stay there at all. I’m not entirely sure how that happened since the pipe that broke wasn’t in our apartment and we aren’t on the bottom floor, but that’s apparently what happened. The water decided to pool in our dining room instead of leaking through to the bottom level. Because of this, we were not able to come back home until yesterday (Tuesday).

We went back to our apartment that afternoon to get some things we would need for our stay, and I saw our apartment through the eyes of an outsider. For all the work I had done the day before, our place was still an embarrassment to me. I couldn’t believe there were strangers coming in and out thinking this was the way I normally lived. I try so hard to keep up with two cats, one toddler, and one grown adult every day in such a small area, I was bound to get behind at some point and let things pile up. It’s just what happens when you’re the only person in a household that wants the place to look nice. I told Willie while we were in there, “this is God’s way of punishing me for keeping a messy apartment.”

Moral of this story: Clean!! Clean even when you are sick. You never know when a pipe will bust upstairs and you will have strangers coming into your apartment and judging you because there is food on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink.