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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Single Parents..

Today, I was listening to BJ Shay's show on our favorite station.  He had the author of "Men are Just Better" on his show and was taking callers.  Willie is telling me it was a repeat show but it was the first time I heard it so I'm blogging about it.

Now, I only heard the last caller, but something he said really struck a cord.

This caller was wondering what advice they would have for a woman trying to turn the tables. She wanted her boyfriend to be the main provider for their family because she felt it was important for a woman to be in the home.  Obviously,  I agree with that.  She went on to tell about her situation growing up with a single mom that was the "I can do it all" type, and that's why she has such a great paying job and the mentality of taking care of herself.

The advice, though, that is where I start to disagree.  BJ and the guest speaker told her that she is the way she is because her parents are divorced.  He went on to tell her that single parents destroy children...


I couldn't believe my ears when I heard him say that.  I've heard comments along those same lines on his show before, but nothing so blatantly against single parents.

I get his ideas in some aspects.  Should women intentionally get pregnant without a partner just because they want a baby and think they can do it all?  Probably not.  It's their decision of course, but maybe that's not the best scenario for the kids. I understand his point in that situation, but to say that all single mothers destroy kids, well, I actually lost a bit of respect for him there.

My mom was a single parent.  It wasn't her choice, not really.  She did instill different values in me and my sister than if she had stayed with my dad, but I certainly don't feel destroyed.  I'm very capable. I'm very functional. I don't feel that I need therapy.

As a matter of fact, I don't always feel like I can do it all.  I'll be the first to admit that I can't do something, or at least can't do it as well as Willie does.  This is the reason I haven't been on the Wii Fit since we moved.  I'm waiting on him to connect it all, since he does something fancy with all the cords and speakers and I just get lost back there!

So, do you think that single parents destroy their children? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject.



  1. I do not think single parents destroy their children. My Dad took care of 3 girls (well kinda 2 and that's another story) and he ran his own business. We did get to see our Mom once during the week and every other weekend.

    Sometimes I do feel like I can do it all but I am an independent person. I guess that is how my Dad tried to raise us. But my sisters & I are all completely different people.

    At times I do need and want to relay on my husband. I choose to raise our children to be independent so that they may be able to take care of themselves and others.

  2. My father died just before my second birthday leaving my mom with me and pregnant with my sister.... I don't feel that being raised by a single parent ruined me.

    I admit that at times I feel I am not doing enough with my life by just being a stay at home mom. I don't however think this has to do with my upbringing but more to do with society itself. We live in a generation that is taught that we can do it all and have it all when in reality you can't. You can't have a high paying awesome job and be the perfect mom because to have the job you have to sacrifice time with your family... and if you are a stay at home mom you have to sacrifice the money so you must cut back on the outside material things in life...So all in all NO it had NOTHING to do with being raised by a single mom. It has more to do with the society that surrounds us all.

    I would have to say I disagree with that guy as well.