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Saturday, July 16, 2011

It's Hard to Do...

I want to write.  So badly, do I want to write.  I have all of these ideas swimming in my head.  I have a notebook I carry around, just so I can jot down what's in my head at any given time. 

I just can't.

It's hard to focus, these days.  It's hard to think about things like crafting tutorials, writing prompts, discussing the "why's" of the last few months.  It's hard to do any of that when everything feels so up in the air.

I thought things were finally coming together.  I thought that after years of struggling and sacrificing, we'd finally hit "pay day." I was wrong.  So, so, so wrong.

It's just hard to care about anything but my disappointment this week.

I feel like the last few years have been spent on Humpty Dumpty.  Yeah...the egg guy that fell from the wall.  After my husband's discharge from the military, I've felt like all we've done is focus on putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.  This month, he was whole, all except one vital piece.  The piece we couldn't find.

That left him weak for this last fall, and now, all I can do is worry that he'll never be whole.

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