The Birth of Addison Lynn..

Don't worry, an updated blog post complete with some party pictures and recent news will be up this week!  This is my last flashback post (and my real birth story written just days after her birth with very little editing so forgive me if it's not coherent!):

I just wanted to clarify that everyone is right. As much as I didn't want pit, as soon as they said there was even a small risk I agreed to it. So we got to my room about 8.30 and told them to just go ahead and start it. After 3 IV attempts they finally got one in, but it HURT!! I must have been having a reaction to something, the plastic or something, b/c they kept coming out, and the one they did get it bothered me the whole time, even in the middle of hard core labor I was complaining about my IV, lol. Well, the good news was even with the pit, I could still get up and walk around with the portable monitor, and I could even labor in the tub. So I hung out and waited for things to start hurting. I guess around midnight the contractions were hard enough that I was starting to have trouble breathing through them, so I asked if I could get an internal and see where I was, b/c I wasn't sure how long I was allowed in the tub since my water broke so I was trying to hold out for 5 cm before I got in. I was at 4.5 so I told the nurse I would get in the tub and see if that helped. They got me situated and I labored in there for awhile and started feeling sick. These contractions HURT! I don't honestly know how long I stayed in there, about an hour or so I think, then I got out and started walking around the room until contractions would hit and they would stop me in my tracks! I got back in bed for a bit b/c I just felt I could concentrate better there, and was able to breath through a few more hours of contractions. I was starting to get nauseous and trembling so I asked if I could do the tub again now that I was in a lot more pain I thought it would relax me. While I was in the tub that time I started pretty much shaking uncontrollably, and I couldn't focus through these for anything! I still really didn't want the epidural, and since it had been so long since my last internal I was thinking "maybe this is it maybe I'm almost done!" so I asked for another internal. 5.5 cm. I almost started crying. Actually, I think I did start crying. That was about 6 am and they told me I could get the epidural and it would probably relax me. At this point I knew I pretty much had to get it. If I couldn't stop shaking, I definitely wasn't surrendering to the pain to let the contractions work effectively. I was TERRIFIED! Willie was even crying with me b/c he knew how much I didn't want it, but he knew also how much pain I was in and he just couldn't stand it. So they called in the guy to do the epidural, and by this point, I'm balling my eyes out. I really didn't want this and didn't know if I could do it. They had Willie pretty much hugging me and he talked me through the whole thing. I must say, the worst part was the little needles, lol. I screamed at one point b/c I didn't know it was the numbing shot and it felt like he shoved something hard into my spine the shoved it up INTO my spine, and I thought that was it. I was paranoid the whole time he was doing it that something was just going to go terribly wrong and I'd have awful side effects from it, or worse (at this point) it wouldn't work! They laid me back down into bed and told me the contractions should gradually get less intense over the next 10-15 minutes. She was right, and I actually started to doze off finally and from there a lot of my details get really fuzzy b/c I would only remember some of the contractions. I guess they gave me the epidural that wasn't too strong so I could still feel b/c as the contractions got stronger I could start to feel a little pain again but it was NOTHING compared to what it was before. Once I got the epidural, my labor did in fact speed up. By 11 am I was 10 cm but b/c of the pressure of Addison's hand I still had one side of my cervix that wouldn't soften so I had to lay on my right side until it thinned out. They decided to let me labor down as much as I could b/c they still weren't positive if b/c of her position she would fit and they didn't want me pushing too long and putting extra stress on Addison and myself if it wasn't going to work anyways. Well, around 2 they did an internal and she was at +3 Willie said you could almost see her fingers, haha. So I did a few practice pushes with the nurse and then the doc came in when they knew I was ready. I pushed for 2 hours.  I really started going unconscious in between contractions while I was pushing and would only wake up when I felt pain and I would push. Eventually I woke up with an oxygen mask coming down over my face and the doc saying "When I tell you to stop pushing, I need to to stop, then I'll let you know when and I'll want just a little push from you" so I knew it was either the end or there was something wrong.  It was the end, thank goodness.  The shoulder presentation felt really weird, b/c all I could feel was the pressure and I seriously thought she was cutting me all over to make her fit, lol. They laid her on my stomach for a minute after she came out, but I couldn't pull myself up to see her and I still had the mask on so I yanked it off so I could see her a little b/c I knew at that point they weren't going to let me hold her for long before they took her to the warming table. She had her first BM on my tummy, lol, and then they brought her to the warming table to get her to cry (she was coughing and breathing on me but not crying and her color wasn't great) and to look over her hand and arm since there was some pretty bad swelling and bruising and she wouldn't move it. FINALLY after about 40 minutes of me crying to hold my baby, they brought her to me and she was just perfect! I have to say the doc was GREAT. She did the perineum massage the whole time I was pushing her head out and she was really encouraging. I seriously thought only midwives put that much effort into helping a mother give birth, all the stories I've heard the OB just comes in and catches the baby and leaves, lol. Not the case here! She stayed through all the pushing, after being in and out through my entire labor, and she stayed the whole time they were taking care of Addison. I was also really impressed that the word "c-section" only came up once at the very beginning because she wanted to let me know that she had never dealt with this particular position for a birth and so she couldn't tell me how it would end but they would do everything they could to keep it from ending in a c-section. I love that doc I'm so glad she's the one that was on-call for my birth. And I'm absolutely in love with my little girl! Every time I look at her I just can't fathom that she came out of me and I made her!