Putting Her to Work..

Well, Addie's second birthday has come and gone.  One of her gifts from us was a toddler camera.  I'm happy to say it's given her hours of entertainment!

For instance, the other day I had several items to photograph for CUTEure Creations and a very busy, hyper toddler to manage outside as well. We've been having a hard time dealing with her running away from us as soon as we're somewhere she can't run away (parking lots, busy shows, the mall, the road).  I'm still trying things out to figure out how to deal with it, so right now I just try to keep her distracted and busy when we're in those situations.

While photographing items, I started having problems with her trying to run to the ditch (next to our very busy road) so I decided to put her to work. 

Taking photos, of course! She had a blast, and mimicked everything I did, from kneeling for a good angle, to adjusting the products, to checking the photos on the camera to see how they looked.

It was so cute.  I think she's earned herself a job!

It's So Quiet...

I hadn't realized until last night quite how silent it's been around here.

Unfortunately, I don't have much to say about that :-/

Just let me get through Addie's birthday party this weekend.

Then there are 3 more shows left in my season.  2 the weekend of the 20th, 1 the weekend after Thanksgiving.

After that, I should be back!

A Bad Post...

To be honest, lately I haven't been in a good place.

I feel sort of invisible. Even when people see me. Even when they talk to me.  I feel like my opinions and my knowledge don't matter. Like I have nothing to bring to the table. 

I feel like I'm clinging to friendships I lost years ago.  I feel like if I didn't make an effort on my end, communication with many people would be non-existent. 

I feel unimportant, and sort of lame.

I feel like it's showing in everything I do now.  In the way I approach situations. In the way I approach friends.

I feel like my stress level is way up from where it should be, and that I snap way too often.

I feel like I want to do something about it, but the harder I try, the more invisible I become. The less people notice.

Thank you to the few who do notice me, and what I have to bring to the table.

Thank you for valuing my opinions and ideas.

Thank you for noticing what I do right, instead of only what I do poorly.

Sorry it's not a happy post.  Sorry it's not poetic.


Sorry it's the first post of the month on a flat note.


It's just something I needed to get off my chest.

Now and Then - Camping with Toddlers

So sorry for the huge delay in blogging.  I really feel like I'm neglecting my dear readers that actually take the time to read!

This month has been crazy hectic with my shop.  The first half of the month was spent in a crocheting frenzy stressing out about show #3 (which was a big bust!), then I went out of town for a little over a week for my show and a trip.  That's right.  It's the time of year for the "H&C" annual camping trip on the coast!  This year, we were camping with toddlers!  The majority of the trip was spent talking about the differences from last years trip.  Last  year, Addie and Loren were just learning to stand up.  In fact, I believe they both stood unsupported for the first time during our trip!  They were just babies then.  We took 10 month pictures of the girls on that trip.

This year, we could barely get them to sit still.  Well, for part of the trip Addie had the flu (fairly mild, though. We thought it was a stomach bug until Willie caught it this week!), but while they were both active and feeling well, it was a pretty fun time.

Here's a few photos to show off our activities and what a difference a year makes with kids.

Addie and Loren in the tent last year

Addie and Loren in the RV this year

Addie and Loren playing on the beach last year

Addie and Loren playing on the beach this year

A comparison photo!

We knew during our trip that the differences were major, but until I looked back through photos from last year, I hadn't realized exactly how much had changed, or how much had stayed the same.

This Must be Why They Call Me Crazy

Have you ever noticed with your mom friends that there seems to be 3 different groups of moms?

You've got the Group One over "here" that has 2 or 3 kids already, all close in age, along with the moms that plan to have 2-3 kids within the next couple of years.  They think this is a great idea.  They think "this way, I can get all of the diapers, sleepless nights, childbirth, and pregnancy over with all at once and move onto the fun times." Before I had Addie, I was part of this group.  This group that wanted to get this part of child raising over with all at once.  It's not that they don't enjoy this part of being a mom, they just want to go through all of the stages as few times as possible. 

Group Two, on the other hand, is over there on the other side of the room.  They've each got 1 toddler running around.  This is the group for only children, right? Wrong.  Well, technically they are still the only child, but Mom plans to have more.  Eventually.  You know, once their first kid gets a little older, a little more independent, maybe even starts kindergarten.  Group One looks at these moms like they are crazy.  They think "how could you want to start completely over after so long?!" In a way, they are right.  Essentially, you are starting over with a new baby once your mind and body are out of practice.  There are the pro's to this group, though.  Your body has more time to heal, the older child can "help out", you get some one-on-one time with the new baby to bond while your oldest is at school.

Then, you've also got Group Three. This group has been there, done that, and got a post card.  They don't need to go back.  They're done.  They've got their child.  He's perfect in every way, how could they possibly try to create perfection twice? Okay, maybe that's not really what they're thinking, but for one reason or another, they only want their one child.  Group One and Group Two don't understand it, but hey, who are they to say how to live your life, right?

Before I had Addie, I was part of Group One.  I figured it would be easier, they would be closer, and I could be "done" all at once.  This seems to be the most popular group.  Maybe that's because people are having kids later in life.  Maybe it's the high-powered careers more women have. Who knows.  All I know is that this is the going thought nowadays.

After having Addie, though, I slowly found myself joining Group Two.  I just wasn't ready to do it all over again.  As the time came to start talking about "trying" again, Willie and I both found ourselves avoiding it at all costs. Neither of us were ready.  We decided to wait a few years.  We're young, after all.  What's the rush? We'll wait until we're ready and we've got more income.

Once I started sharing this idea with others from Group One, I started getting these looks.  Looks that silently say you're crazy.  Out loud they would say something like "Oh wow! I don't know if I could do it all over again in a few years. I really want my kids close in age."  Sure, I know what you're saying behind those words.  You know what though? I'm starting to believe you.

Maybe I am crazy.  Maybe all those moms in Group One actually had it right, because let me tell you.  Once you hit those terrible two's, you kind of don't want to start over.  At least I don't.

Addie isn't even one of the really bad kids, either! She just won't do time outs.  Trust me.  We've tried it all, from standing behind her to make her not move, to re-starting a timer, and even using her bedroom! It just hasn't been working.  I have her say "sorry" and talk to her about her time out when she's done.  She won't do it.  When she does say sorry, she turns around and hits/pushes/bites immediately afterward so she ends up in another time out.  I know right now some of it has to do with her molars, but come on!!  How much more of this am I expected to take?! It's just been pretty intense.  We've had some discussions lately and we're trying some new things-one of which is less working during the day and more Addie time.  So far, it seems to be helping.

Either way, the thought of another toddler right now sort of scares me. If Addie is one of the easy ones, what will I do if my next kid is one of the hard ones?!  Maybe this is why they call me crazy.  Maybe they knew all along that the reason Group Two is so unpopular is because after the terrible two's, those moms start joining Group Three without batting an eye.  I know I sure find them appealing! I mean, hey! Two parents vs. One kid.  That sounds like a fair match to me!!

Discipline for the Three of Us

If you read my blog semi-regularly, you've probably deduced that I do not just show the perfect side of my life.  I feel like this is the place I want moms to be able to come and see that they are not alone in their parenting struggles.  So, here I am, about to share my newest and most frustrating parenting struggle.

Addie won't take a time out to save her life.  I tried everything to get her to realize that this is not play time.  She just continues hitting/biting/screaming/throwing as soon as she gets out, because apparently my reaction is funny.  I've tried different reactions: calm and collected, angry and yelling, sad and hurt. 

We've been battling the time out issue for a few months now, right around the time that it became necessary to teach her right and wrong.  All of my other mommy friends seem to have flown through this transition easily, giving me the advice of "If she runs out of time out, just put her back and make her stay there until her time is up."  and "All kids run out of time out at first, you have to teach her that that is not okay, even if it means you have to stand behind her the first few times and make sure she doesn't move."  The thing is, even after months of time outs, Addie still runs right out.  Nothing I have done will make her stay in time out.  Eventually, we came up with the rule that after she ran out of time out 3 times, we put her in her room with the door closed until her time out was done.  This worked really well for awhile, but it may have hurt us in the long run.  Now, Addie can reach on top of her shelves and dresser, and can open the door and come out. That means even if I put a spinny-thing on her door knob or stand on the other side holding the door closed, she can still get into things to entertain herself in her room.

When good girls stay in time out, they get special tattoo stickers as a reward! Can you be a good girl in time out?

Tonight though, after a friend seeing just how out of hand our time out situation is, I had to come up with a new plan. I mean, she recommended that I watch Nanny 911.  Things can't be so out of control that I need Nanny 911.  They just can't.  I can't be at that point, because that means I'm one of those parents that doesn't have control of her child. I can't be that mom.

Once Addie went to bed, I opened up the trusty Google.com website and typed in "toddler time outs".  A whole slew of websites came up, so I decided to go with the site I trusted in the newborn stage.  I needed something that wasn't a parenting forum, I just wanted advice this time straight from the experts.  Advice from other parents hasn't worked so far in this situation, so why turn to virtual moms, right? (no offense).

I found this article called "Time-Outs: How to Make Them Work".  It looked perfect, and you know what? It may be perfect.  The second paragraph almost made me cry tears of relief that I wasn't alone.

Because toddlers find it hard to sit still, trying to make your little one stay in a certain place for a prescribed length of time may well disintegrate into a chase scene. Here's what happens: Your child runs away from his time-out spot. You catch him, then struggle to make him stay in one place. You threaten, he laughs, delighted with this new game — or cries, frustrated by the requirement. You grab, he bolts. Meanwhile, because he has a short attention span, your toddler forgets why you wanted him to sit still in the first place. Instead of helping your child regain his self-control, you find yourself in a power struggle.

This is it! This is exactly what happens in our house! So it is normal!

According to the article, this scene means that your child is not developmentally ready for a traditional time out.  Instead, they recommend things called "positive time out," meaning you just remove them from the frustrating situation and have time to calm down together.  Things like reading a book or doing a puzzle or listening to calming music.  The main goal is to allow both of you a minute or two to calm down and stop focusing on the "bad" activity.

The article reminds you right away that time out is not a punishment, but "an opportunity for your child to learn how to cope with frustration and modify his behavior."   It stresses that this is a more positive way to discipline and teach, rather than yelling and spanking which are considered more negative attention.

I honestly don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.  It fits so well with how I've parented from the beginning.  It will take some patience and practice, but Willie and I have come up with a new game plan.

Based on what we read tonight, we are going to give up on the traditional time outs for now.  When Addie gets out of hand, we will try reading a book or going to another room for some quiet time together first.  We will both practice not yelling and raising our temper at her over typical toddler behavior, because we don't want to encourage negative attention.

In return, we have also talked and decided that we need to go back to taking a more active role in our parenting.  I think during all of our hard times during the first year, we got so excited once Addie could entertain herself that we both backed away and "took a break."  I feel awful admitting it, but often at home I just leave Addie to her toys and do my thing, be it shop work or chores around the house.  I get frustrated when she wants attention from me, and tell her to go play.  I toss out some crayons or crackers and continue what I was doing. 

Working from home-especially working on my own business-is very stressful and time consuming, and it's beginning to show.  My life feels a little out of control lately in many aspects.  It's time to get back to the basics.  I'm going to be setting times to work, and times to play.  I'm going to come up with activities to do with Addie, and we'll have some structured play time in our day again.  After all, what is the point of staying home with my daughter if I don't take the time to enjoy it?

So, I felt like I needed to lay all of this out in the open.  This is my new promise to myself, and I feel like laying it all out here on my blog will help hold myself accountable.

Knitting!

Well, I promised myself (and all of you), that I would learn to knit.

I got started shortly after that attempting a pattern for a rolled brim beanie.  Let's just say it was a major fail.  Not because I can't handle knitting or anything, just because I didn't have the right needle, and-quite honestly-I may have been getting ahead of myself on stitch techniques.

The pattern called for a stockinette stitch, which is where you knit one row, turn, and purl the next row.  For those of you that don't know the first thing about knit, that's when all of those little "v" stitches line up on one side.  Really, this should be simple.  I mean knitting is two stitches.  That's it.  That's all I need to learn..well, apparently that and how to count and pay attention.

My problem with the stockinette stitch was that I kept losing track of what row I was on.  Was I supposed to knit or purl? Who knows! So it got really random.  After about 15 rows I looked down and noticed that my hat was taking on a pattern that it shouldn't have. Hmm...I ripped out the rows, and then realized I didn't know how to pick the stitches back up and start from there.

I ended up giving up the hat, swearing that I would come back and work on it again after my Port Townsend show.  Well, that show was last weekend!

I did pick up the knitting needles again, I'm proud to say.  Only this time, I decided to start with a very basic knit item.  A garter stitch scarf.  I learned the process through my Stitch n Bitch book.  It's actually the first thing she suggests you make...but you know me!

So, even though I decided to go back and do this very basic pattern that I was sure I would hate by the end of it, I still chose to make some changes.  Again, you know me!!  I can't make anything as simple as it should be.  The pattern in the book called for huge ginormous needles and extra bulky yarn, neither of which I had on hand.  I'm not about to go out and buy knitting supplies until I get into it.  I didn't with crochet, and I won't with knitting!  So, I decided to go with some yarn I had left over from making some newborn cocoon bowls and size 10 needles instead.

For this scarf, I wanted something big and bulky.  I cast on 30 to make this scarf extra wide, and I am now knitting every row in a garter stitch.  I'm so proud of myself! As you can see, I've even changed colors.  Successfully.

Now the weather just needs to cool off some so I can wrap this around my neck and enjoy my hard work.