I Have Some Resolutions Afterall..

In my previous post, 2009, An Overview, I mentioned only having one resolution this year. One that I didn't want to share.  After thinking on this for a couple of days, I have decided that this is not true.  I have several resolutions this year, most of which I would love to share with you all.

My first one is to be more crafty.  Willie bought me a sewing machine with all the accessories for Christmas (isn't he the best?!) , and my mother-in-law bought me a Dremel, so I'm learning how to use those day by day.  I'm almost done with my first real project, so I will share here when it's done. 

That's  my second resolution, by the way.  I am going to incorporate more of my interests (cooking, crafting, my ETSY shop, and maybe even some TV or movie "reviews" if I'm in the mood) and not only focus on being a mom, because I am so much more than that.  Be expecting my first ever giveaway this spring for my anniversary to Surviving Motherhood, too.  I'll tweet about it as the time gets closer, but I'm already brainstorming some great stuff!

My third resolution is the obligatory "work out and lose weight" resolution.  I know, I know. How unoriginal, but hey, it's something I need to do, so what better time to start than now?  Some friends and I joined up and we are participating in a WiiFit challenge, so that should be fun.  I'm also playing with the idea of starting up a brand new blog, completely dedicated to this journey.  I gained a lot of weight when I met Willie, more when we got married, and of course, even more when I had Addison.  I am now at least 20 pounds heavier than I was the day I met him, and would love to get back (or close) to that weight again.  I'll decide this week whether I have time enough for a second blog, and if I start it up, you'll be the first to know.

My fourth resolution I feel should be more of a warning to those of you in my personal life.  From this day forward, no longer will I rely on the internet and on texting to keep in touch with those of you important to me.  I feel we should bring back the phone calls and the personal relationships-you know, the face to face kind-so don't be surprised or worried when your phone rings.  It's only me, trying to bring back the old concept of actually talking to my friends.

So there you have it. My resolutions for 2010.  What are your resolutions? Is there anything you (my readers) want to improve on in the upcoming year? Please share.  It's so nice to get it all down on paper.

Right Back Where I Started

A few months ago, I made a goal for myself to lose some weight and start making an effort on my appearance.  It was going really well...until recently, that is. 

The past few weeks I have found myself slipping back into a slump.  I'm still making an effort when I go out of the house, but it's getting harder.  My clothes no longer fit.  That's right.  The pants that I bought last spring no longer fit.  They are way too big.  So big, in fact, that they are falling off.  Guys, these pants were the same size I was wearing before I had Addie.

The good news is that I did not want to stay in that size.  The bad news is, my wardrobe is again severely limited.  I have plenty of shirts and skirts and dresses to wear, but no pants.  Seeing as how the weather is getting colder every day, this will become an issue pretty quickly.  I've been hesitant to buy more pants , though, since I still have yet to go to reach my goal weight. 

So, to buy new pants to continue looking good, or wait until I reach my goal? Decisions, decisions!

Quarter-Life Crisis, Second Edition

Here we are. I am officially 25 years old. One Quarter of a Century. Strangely, it doesn't feel that different on this side of that line.  I mean, there are little differences, I swear, there are!

Maybe it's just a mental thing, but I feel more in control. More adult. I really do. Then again, maybe I am just settling into my roll as mother now.  After 10 months of mothering, it should all feel pretty old hat by this point, but the idea of caring for someone so small is still such a strange concept.  I guess eventually it had to become second nature.  It seems that turning 25 was that point!

You may remember this post from a few weeks ago. I blogged about a few goals I had in mind to ease me into "becoming an adult".

I'm here today to update you on these goals. I feel I have been doing pretty well, if I do say so myself.

I have kept a food journal for the last few weeks. Okay, I can't really lie. I have kept a food journal most days for the last few weeks. I will admit there are some days that aren't quite filled out. But for the most part, really, I have kept it up, despite only seeing small changes. I just keep reminding myself that "slow and steady wins the race". I want to take this weight off and keep it off, that means I can't drop it all in a month.

Who is this person with my family, you ask? Why, it's me!!  Complete with a new hair cut, new wardrobe, and actually looking acceptable to be out in public.  Yes.  I have been trying harder, that's for sure!

I wake up every morning and wash and blow dry my hair at least.  Most days I even straighten it.  I know.  Me?! Straightening my hair?!

It gets better.  I promise.

After I fix my hair-which is a completely foreign idea for me, I even put on makeup.  Yeah.

And then....and then!

I go into my closet and pick out something to wear!  Yeah! I don't wear sweats every day!

Who is this person?!  Really?! It's me??  Wow.  I would never recognize myself. 

I feel better about myself.  I feel happier.  I feel more confident.  I feel like people are willing to talk to me and be friendly with me out in public.  Yes.  Complete strangers actually smile and talk to me now.  They didn't before.   

Change is good.

Sometimes.

Well...good change is good.  Bad change is just...bad.

I mean...I would not want to be encouraging someone to put on hooker heals and fishnet stockings, tease their hair 80's style, and then go out on the street.  That kind of change would be bad.  That is not the change I am looking for.

What goals have you set recently?  Have you stuck with them? Please share!

Weight loss after pregnancy..

1 year ago, I was happily glancing in the mirror every morning to see how much my belly grew overnight. I was chowing down on Rocky Road ice cream, pumpkin bread, cookies, cakes, pastas, chocolate bars, icing out of a can, and-of course-pickles (not all at the same time, of course), all this time thinking "I can eat what I want! I'm pregnant! Once I have this kid, I'll go back to eating healthy and losing weight. For now, though, I'm enjoying this excuse."

Oh boy...little did I know that a year later I would be regretting all those late night binges. I had no idea I would be anxiously getting up in the morning to check out my belly in the mirror and see how much smaller it had gotten overnight (only to be disappointed when it wasn't). They say it takes 9 months to put the weight on, and should take 9 months to come off. Well, the 9 month mark is quickly approaching and I'm still hovering right over my pre-pregnancy weight. I still have 5 pounds to go, not to mention the additional weight I would love to lose before even thinking about getting pregnant again.

I don't believe in "fad diets" such as Atkins, South Beach, Slim Fast, Special K, etc. What happens after you lose the weight? Have you learned anything about proper eating habits? I can pretty much bet that weight comes right back. Because of this, I have found it a bit difficult to find legit weight loss info online. There are a very few things I have learned, and for the most part, I try to incorporate them into my daily eating rituals.

Firstly, I have learned a lot about portion control. I now eat 90% of my meals off the small plates (so hard when dining on Chicken & broccoli Alfredo!-which yes, I realize is awful for dieting), I am trying to eat several small meals instead of 3 large ones, and we now eat dinner between 6-6:30 vs. the 9 p.m. dinners we were having a few months ago so we could dine in peace. This one works in our favor, though, now that Addison is eating on her own, we actually have pleasant family meals.

On top of portion control, I have learned what to eat, and what not to eat. Surprisingly, ice cream ended up on the What Not To Eat list :( Who would have thought?! I have learned how important fiber is in your daily diet. According to my nutritionist, if you take the number of calories you eat a day, and subtract the amount of fat, that's how many calories you are actually ingesting. You'd be surprised how much fresh fruit I eat now!

Also, a great piece of advice I received was to make sure and eat some lean protein at every meal to keep your appetite in check. I love me some carbs, so this is by far the hardest part of dieting for me. I just try and add some chicken to my pasta and salads to ensure that I'm not hungry again an hour later.

Unfortunately, I know I still won't reach my full weight-loss potential while sitting around watching TV and playing with my daughter. I am trying my darnedest (Okay, that's a lie) to get back into Pilates-great for pulling in the abs after childbirth and great for toning your whole body-but between getting sick, and then the heat...excuses excuses! I also checked out this great fun class called Zumba! When we can afford a gym membership, I am definitely thinking of enrolling in this class! I'm actually excited about it!

Beyond this, though...I am at a loss. I keep hoping against hope that this weight will just melt off in this heat. Well, at least 2 pounds did so far! I'll weigh myself again this weekend and see if that continued or if me binging on ice cream and Popsicles kept that from happening. Sigh. I read this quote that I thought would be very encouraging for me: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." The only problem with this is, it isn't quite as movtivating when you add "...except for french fries," to the end of it.

"No updates for 80 days"

I noticed something sad just now. I have a tracker that tracks my weight loss vs. my goal weight. I just logged into one of my sites and saw this ticker...or lack thereof. It took me a moment to realize what was supposed to go in that spot. All it was was a red and white rectangle that said.."No updates for 80 days..please update". This is very sad for a couple of reasons. One being that this means I haven't lost any weight in 80 days. The other being that I don't have any updates for this site. How depressing.

Sadly, it seems that my potato chip and oreo diet has not been working as well as I'd hope. Neither is my exercise program that consists of channel surfing and breast feeding (<----on a similar note, who came up with the lie that breastfeeding makes you lose weight?! That was a good one). I guess I will have to go above and beyond with my efforts starting tomorrow on a new diet and exercise program!!

I had to shop for a swim suit today. You may be wondering "Why would you put yourself through that torture only 6 months after having a baby?!" I'll tell you why! I am doing it because it's summer, and I love swimming, and last year I missed out on all the summer activities because I refused to let anyone see me in a swim suit. This summer, I am determined to get out doors as much as possible, especially being prepared for beach trips or laying out by a pool, so....I went in search of the beached whale woman's department at Target in hopes of finding something that resembled a mumu.

Sigh. No such luck on the mumu. But, I did manage to find a pretty cute tankini that didn't look half bad! It didn't look half good, either, but I settled. The whole time we were swimming, I felt like random parts of my body were falling out of the swim suit. Oh well. All that mattered at that point was Addie smiling and splashing me in the water.

Ick. I cannot end this blog in that after-school-special manner! [insert sarcastic comment here.]

My Mother's Wardrobe...

Since the birth of my daughter, I have struggled with my self image. None of my clothes fit right. My pre-pregnancy pants fall off, but the next size down makes me look like a sausage link! I have a flabby belly, sagging breasts, jiggly thighs, and stretch marks in places I didn't know could stretch. My hair is falling out, my complexion is awful, and I swear I'm getting wrinkles and gray hair.

I really wanted to make myself feel better the other day, so I ordered some new clothes online-no dressing rooms! My clothes arrived today, and I nervously opened the box, just knowing they were going to be too small, because that would just be my luck. I pull the shorts out of the box and hold them up.

Are you kidding me?! These are freakin' huge!!! They look like mom pants!

I go ahead and try them on anyway. Oh. My. Gosh. They fit. They fit perfectly! Seriously?! Has my behind gotten that wide?? Whatevs. They fit, and I need shorts. In the mirror, they don't seem quite so wide.

On to the shirts. Umm....I ordered LARGE not TRIPLE X!! Great. Now the cute shirts I bought aren't going to fit. I try them on just to be sure, after that whole fiasco with the shorts, my self esteem is pretty shot so I'm beating myself up. The shirt fits.

When did I get a mom body?! I'm only 25!! I'm not supposed to be thise wide!! What happened?!

I have a stack of pants and shirts folded on top of my dresser right now. When I was packing up my maternity clothes, I found these, and didn't put them with my normal wardrobe because they are still too small. About 2 sizes too small. These clothes were things I bought before I found out I was pregnant. They were my "reward" clothes for when I lost the weight I was working on. Most of them have never been worn. Most of them probably never will, now.