I've got the FEVER

Yikes.  I've got to come out and say it! I've caught the fever...the baby fever!

I don't know how it happened, or who I caught it from.  It snuck up very quickly and knocked me off my feet. 

Me-the mom who blogged about the possibility of waiting years for another baby just a few months ago-now has the fever.

Does this mean I actually think I'm ready for another baby? Not so much.  I think I'm just finally to the point of liking babies again.  I'm still not emotionally ready to have one around all the time.  Sadly, I think I had issues with PPD that I didn't even admit to myself until recently.  That first year was rough on me, emotionally, physically, and mentally.  I didn't even know myself how rough it was until I "snapped out of it" as they say.

Hindsight's twenty-twenty. 

Still, until this week, I was no where near even thinking of having another baby.  Then, I looked at pictures.  I looked at them all.  Somehow, looking back on the happy pictures makes the bad memories seem a bit fuzzier.  The picture of her first smile.  The pictures of her playing and laughing with me.  Pictures from this time last year, with sun streaming in through the vertical blinds.  Her bald little head reflecting such bright light. 

So many pictures.  What happened? Why don't I take as many pictures anymore? I seem to have just stopped.  I guess we just got too busy, and with Addie moving around so much, even our Nikon D40 has trouble getting her in focus sometimes.

I've got the fever alright.  Something I didn't think I'd catch for a long time.  Is it here to stay?  We'll see.  For now, I plan to ignore it.  I'll get my snuggles in and that new baby smell from our newest play group addition. 

We agreed to re-assess how we felt each year and go from there.  I still have a few months to decide how I even feel about having another baby.  At least one obstacle is out of the way now.  I can see myself wanting another baby...sometime.  Just not quite yet.