Excuse me while I reminisce..

Tonight I have been searching and applying for work at home jobs. You'd be surprised how little there is hidden within pages and pages of "opportunities". There are so few opportunities for a work at home mom. I have...almost no education. No experience. I am smart. I always have been. But life sometimes gets in the way.

Let me paint you a little picture.

You graduate high school and take a year off. Once you get into college you make awesome grades. You become complacent. Soon you're on the Dean's List and the President's List. You become overly confident in your abilities and relax a bit. Life is good. Then everything falls apart. You lose your home, your car, and in turn you lose your job, your live-in-boyfriend, your whole life. All overnight. It does happen. I keep a picture of my "old life" in my bedroom to remind me of how swiftly you can lose everything. It can literally come crashing down around you...with almost no warning. In turn, you quit school.

I'll take a semester off. Figure out who I am now. Take a breather.

One semester turns into two. Two semesters turns into two years. You meet someone new. It's going so well you move out of state to be with him. "I'll start school once I settle in a new area." You get a job. Get engaged. It's all going so well. "I'll get back into school after the wedding." Well, now the wedding is over. So is the honeymoon. What now?? Are you going to start next semester? Great idea! Only....

Now your husband finds out he's being medically discharged from the military. You have to move. Again. Now what? Who knows when the discharge process is going to be complete. Do you enroll and just hope that you'll be able to finish the semester? It's probably best to wait. After all...you could be moving the same week classes start.

I'll start school once we get to the new place (again).

The semester passes. You're still waiting on news for your separation date. Six months later, you finally get your date. 3 months out. Perfect. You're moving in May. That's enough time to get into the fall semester!!! Except....is that a positive?! You're pregnant?! Didn't expect that one. Due date is the same month as finals. for your first semester back at college. Not such a great start.

I'll start college after the baby comes.

Well, guess what. Baby's here. In fact, baby is almost eight months old now! Are you in school? Or are you struggling under the pressure of adjusting to this new new life? That's what I thought. Parenting is tough.

Here we are...summer again. It's been three years since graduation. College?? It's a pretty scary concept at this point.

What if I fail? What if I'm too old??

Well, you've got to do something. Anything. This living paycheck to paycheck lifestyle just isn't working with an infant. But here's the problem now. Remember that husband you married? He's still trying to figure out what he wants to do now that he's out of the military. He has a 4 year plan...which doesn't involve his wife being in school. It doesn't involve setting aside enough money for two tuitions, childcare, and a low paying job. What now?? Guess we'll have to wait....again.

I'll go back once the kids are in school. Once my husband is done with school. Once he finds a good paying job. Until then...